House Guests from Hell

When we decided to move to Mexico, I had assumed that our fate would be the same as my parents, and they would have lost most of their friends from back home. Nobody came to see them here and they felt very isolated.

So imagine my shock when a couple that we had started to become friends with, announced that they were coming to stay with us in January.

As much as I did not know them well, we had shared a couple of dinners and a couple of casual encounters, I thought they were people that I connected with and would like to get to know better.

The warning bells ran really loud when hubbie announced that one of them was coming down the car with him and the other partner would follow before New Years Eve. They would not be leaving until the 15th of January so that was a lot of time with someone that we hoped things would go well with.

Our dear neighbours and friends who had been there for my family through everything, offered to let them use their bedroom. That would allow us to have some time together as a family and they had a lot of room anyway.

Our friends from home, who by the way own a B&B so they should have known better, felt and acted like they were at a B&B and could come and go as they pleased, but have all the meals they wanted to have at our house, without contributing even a bottle of wine.

That was annoying enough as they knew that we had so many expenses this year with 2 houses, private school and travelling back and forth here that we really couldnt afford to carry them as well but I dont think they thought past their own desires to how it affected anyone else.

We as their hosts, included them in everything we were doing. If we went shopping we included them, thinking they would like to know and see real life here in Mexico. Each time we took them somewhere, we were the taxi ride only and they took off on us.

They spent their days wandering and be carefree, not once asking if we wished to share any of their encounters. Maybe they felts since when we invited them anywhere that meant we paid the entire costs, that if they invited us to join them for a lunch that they might be required to buy us something. Who knows what they motives were, it was horrible for us.

But we kept quiet being the gracious hosts that we are. We continued to share everything we had receiving nothing in return for our efforts but more of the feelings of being used and abused.

Our final straw was when they were taking our neighbours out for a dinner to thank them, dividing us from the group and we stated our case, loud and clear how uncomfortable it was for us and we would really appreciate their changing their plans to include us.

That would seem a reasonable thing to me.

But instead of hearing how sorry they were for making us feel like that and of course they would alter the plans because they did not want us to feel uncomfortable, no... instead we were told that they would take it under advisement and let us know their desicion when they returned from their week away where they would have to pay for themselves.

They returned all happy and excited and brought up dinner plans again, pretending that we had never had this conversation before and made me repeat again how badly it was making us feel with them dividing us. Again we were told they would consider it and let us know.

Maybe I am mistaken and have spent my life not understanding the true meaning of friendship or hospitality or generosity but this does not seem to be the behaviour consistent with any of the above.

The next day, Monday, when they were planning on going for dinner on Tuesday and then leaving Thursday morning, they informed us that they had decided to take our friends and neighbours out separately from us, regardless of how we felt.

Then these two supposedly intelligent and "spiritual" people were shocked that they had hurt us. Now one partner was playing the victim and wanting us to feel sorry for how they were feeling after hurting us - PLEEAASEE!! but the other partner blamed their behaviour on ME that this was my fault.

Needless to say they have avoided all contact with us until tonight the night before leaving and what did I receive as a thank you and an apology for their actions - NOTHING - not a bunch of flowers from the market, not a small token gift, not a gift certificate from the restaurant they took our neighbours too, nothing.

Sorry, I am mistaken, I was to receive their blessing for my life. PLEASE!! Like this blessing would a difference in my life and was the grand gesture of the POPE.

The good news besides their leaving is that hubbie and I have bonded more through this ordeal and we have learned many life lessons that will take us far in the future about ourselves and those around us who want to take us for granted.

I feel sorry for the next person who tries to use either of us again, because we are so warned now.

Mom and Dads Anniversary

I know you have not heard from me very much this month. This month has been dig down deep and get everything done. I have been single focused and accomplishing alot. There are so many things that have happened that I have thought I need to write about that in my blog but my focus has not allowed me the time. So I will try to fill in the blanks as much as possible.

Friday was November 28th and it would have been my parents 44th wedding anniversary. They were a testament to until death do us part. My mom was 15 and my dad 19 when they got married.

There were times that it was hell for them and for us as kids. There were times of pure love. Isn't that real life and real love?

I remember one Christmas, after we had opened all our presents, our parents sent us to bed, my mother had one present that was private for just my dad. My curiosity had my sneaking in and watching them and the gift was a 45 record. When they played it, Your in my Soul was playing by Rod Stewart they danced so close and romantic.

They usually went out for a nice romantic dinner every anniversary but they went to a Mexican resort for their 40th. I had planned on throwing them a huge party for their 50th anniversary since I was a child.

Next year on their 45th anniversary, Andre and I are taking them to the Carribean sea and we will scatter their ashes together. That was what I promised my father and I think it is so fitting to do it on a milestone.

Old Mexican Lady

There is an old woman that lives on a corner that I pass, in and out of my house. She is usually out front of her house in the evening, wearing an apron.

I can imagine that she has worked hard cooking and cleaning all day. I imagine that her relaxation is stepping outside, seeing who is around, being a part of the world and stopping to enjoy life.

She looks like an old woman. Not just an old Mexican woman but an old woman. It is truly amazing to me how babies all look like beautiful babies and how old women look like old women, regardless of nationality or status in life.

But this woman is special.

I don't remember when I first started waving to her as I passed, but it has been awhile now. When I wave at her, she waves back but when she waves, she gives me a present.

She smiles.

Her smile is so full of warmth and love and pure happiness. She makes me smile every time I see her. Her smile is missing teeth so it is not that she is outwardly beautiful, although I am sure she was stunning when she was younger. Her smile just makes the world ok.

I look for her every time I drive past and sometimes she has been busy with whoever she is talking to, to notice my driving by. I am sure that I am not as important to her day as she is to mine.

When she doesn't see me or isn't there for me, I truly miss her. I was watching an interview and a story was shared about a famous movie star from a long time ago, forgive me I can't remember his name. The story was about a child who 's bedroom window overlooked a train station and how this child connected with a man on the train, where they waved and connected, even though they never met. The end of the story talked about how some people come into your life and you truly connect heart to heart but you never really know them.

That is this woman to me.

Weather vs. Family and Friends

Forgive my not writing in my blog all weekend. This was a hard weekend for me and I am not sure why.

I woke up Saturday morning so filled with loneliness and sadness of being alone here. I am not sure where it came from but it was so strong it was like a presence beside me constantly.

I avoid people when I am like that as I don't want to spread my poison around. I also personally can not stand the sound of my whining or misery, so I prefer to just ride it out.

When my grandmother asked what was wrong I told her I was sad at being alone and that I missed my husband terribly. She explained in her version of thinking that I should not be sad as I was here in Paradise and it was cold and snowy in Canada. Funny that may be here version of life and it certainly was my father's but it is not mine.

I never could understand how climate was a priority of your family and friends and I used to get very upset at my father for that reason.

I get the amazing comfort of being in a temperate climate all the time. I get the no snow and no ice and no cold. I get the flowers and the trees and the views.

It is beautiful here but nothing for me could replace my family. I know it will be easier when my immediate family is together and we make new friends.

But I know that I will be happier when money is not an object and I can visit my son, my family and the friends that are so precious to me.

I truly wonder if I will ever fully adapt.

Guadalajara Zoo

Today I was a chaperon for Kristen's school trip to the Guadalajara Zoo. I have not been to a zoo in about 20 plus years and I was just as excited as Kristen was.

The children rode in a plush touring bus that would be wonderful for any trip and was so far from the noisy orange school buses that she is used to going on for any school trips. The parents and most of the teachers rode in the school bus, which is a long decked out van, so we rode in peace and quiet.

When we arrived at the zoo there was an amazing fountain out front that held all the faces of the animals on it, for the water to rush around it. It was beautiful and then when we entered the gates, we were met with another large fountain but this time it went down 3 large flights of stairs and had monkeys on all poses inside the fountain. When we looked down the flight of stairs there was another fountain but this one had real live flamingos in it.

We walked to the African safari exhibit and looked at many animals along the way. The African safari was seen via a safari style bus that drove us around. There we saw Hippos, zebras, Ostrich's, buffalo and my favourite was the giraffe's.

We were given chopped up carrots when we got in the bus and we found out what they were for when we got to the giraffe's. They came running for the vehicle and all the children squealed with delight as they ate right out of the children's hands, so gently.

Then we had lunch and went to an exhibit which I am sure was fascinating but I did not understand it because it was all in Spanish. But what I did understand was that it was a presentation about the world and the different climates and how the animals survive there.

Then we went on a train ride through the zoo where we caught quick glances of elephants, tigers, lions and many other exotic animals. I would have loved to have had the time to walk right up to the cages and see the animals.

The zoo was really well done with each animal living in its appropriate surroundings. The mountain goats were in a rocky area, the leopard was in a grassy, treed area that was surrounded by a mote and water to keep it in instead of cages. It was truly wonderful.

We only had 3.5 hours to spend there and that is never enough time to fully appreciate any type of exhibit but it sure was not enough time for me. I will have to go back and spend the day when Andre gets here.

Walmart is Open

This morning at 8am Walmart opened. Normally I would have sauntered in somewhere late in the afternoon but today I had to drive Kristen to school so I thought I might as well get properly dressed and head over there.

I arrived there at 7:45 am and there was already a crowd forming. There were people in balloon costumes and some girls that I thought were picketing but turns out they were just announcing the grand opening.

We waited while they prepared the Priest did his thing. He blessed the store and then walked around with the holy water, please forgive me catholics for not knowing what the whole ceremony was about.

Then every staff member formed a two sided line from the entrance, did a cheer and then clapped welcoming us in. The first person closest the door on the entrance side (I was on the exit side), was asked to cut the ribbon. Pretty cool. I have never walked into a Walmart where the employees were clapping that I was there.

I wandered around and saw all the clothing, bras, appliances, lines ect that I wanted and then I headed to the grocery section. The fresh fish, seafood, meat and produce were wonderful.

I found my Arizona iced teas. Normally I have the big can that says 99 cents on it, but the price was $9.69 pesos which converted now is about 94 -95 cents. Wow my favorite things are cheaper here even if they are produced North.

The lacked some of the things that I need. I wanted sausages but they didnt have any. I wanted smoked salmon and that was no where to be found either. Things that I want for Christmas like herring or a Deli section for ham or turkey, I will have to continue shopping at Super Lake. But maybe someone from Walmart will read this and stock those items.

War Memories from my Grandmother

My grandmother just came over and was sharing with me memories of her living through the war because Remembrance Day is tomorrow. I will do my best to do justice to her story here.

She was in the theatre in Estonia with her two sisters, Helme and Linda when the bombing began. The air siren started and everyone was rushed to the basement bomb shelter.

They did their best to stay near the doorway because they were worried about being crushed by the mob if they panicked.

When the sirens were finished and it was safe to come out, they tried to leave the theatre but every exit was engulfed in flames. Finally they were rescued by German soldiers.

When I asked why the Germans were rescuing them, she said that the Russians were invading and pushing the Germans out, so at that moment in time they were all on the same side.

Everyone climbed into the German army truck that was open on the sides. The truck had been in the process of delivering gasoline somewhere so there was a lot of fear that the bombing planes would return and their truck would burst into flames and they would die in a burning truck.

But they didn't. They managed to get driven to Latvia where they found a farmer that allowed them to hide out in his sauna until it was safe. They slept the night there and when they woke up they found that they were covered in lice due to the lice infested blankets they slept in.

They found their way back to Parnu where her parents lived. Her mother heated up the sauna as hot as she could and everyone deposited their clothes in there to rid themselves of the lice.

It took 3 days for her to be reunited with her husband and when she saw him he was driving injured people to the hospital or they were dead I am not sure which one due to how she told the story because all she remembers is that the car was soaked with blood.

It was that event that made them decide to flee the country and that was when she made her way to Sweden, which is another amazing story of survival. That was where my mother was born and my grandmother began her life as a single parent.

What an amazing life and it is truly amazing that at 94 years old she can recount such a story with all the details.