House Guests from Hell

When we decided to move to Mexico, I had assumed that our fate would be the same as my parents, and they would have lost most of their friends from back home. Nobody came to see them here and they felt very isolated.

So imagine my shock when a couple that we had started to become friends with, announced that they were coming to stay with us in January.

As much as I did not know them well, we had shared a couple of dinners and a couple of casual encounters, I thought they were people that I connected with and would like to get to know better.

The warning bells ran really loud when hubbie announced that one of them was coming down the car with him and the other partner would follow before New Years Eve. They would not be leaving until the 15th of January so that was a lot of time with someone that we hoped things would go well with.

Our dear neighbours and friends who had been there for my family through everything, offered to let them use their bedroom. That would allow us to have some time together as a family and they had a lot of room anyway.

Our friends from home, who by the way own a B&B so they should have known better, felt and acted like they were at a B&B and could come and go as they pleased, but have all the meals they wanted to have at our house, without contributing even a bottle of wine.

That was annoying enough as they knew that we had so many expenses this year with 2 houses, private school and travelling back and forth here that we really couldnt afford to carry them as well but I dont think they thought past their own desires to how it affected anyone else.

We as their hosts, included them in everything we were doing. If we went shopping we included them, thinking they would like to know and see real life here in Mexico. Each time we took them somewhere, we were the taxi ride only and they took off on us.

They spent their days wandering and be carefree, not once asking if we wished to share any of their encounters. Maybe they felts since when we invited them anywhere that meant we paid the entire costs, that if they invited us to join them for a lunch that they might be required to buy us something. Who knows what they motives were, it was horrible for us.

But we kept quiet being the gracious hosts that we are. We continued to share everything we had receiving nothing in return for our efforts but more of the feelings of being used and abused.

Our final straw was when they were taking our neighbours out for a dinner to thank them, dividing us from the group and we stated our case, loud and clear how uncomfortable it was for us and we would really appreciate their changing their plans to include us.

That would seem a reasonable thing to me.

But instead of hearing how sorry they were for making us feel like that and of course they would alter the plans because they did not want us to feel uncomfortable, no... instead we were told that they would take it under advisement and let us know their desicion when they returned from their week away where they would have to pay for themselves.

They returned all happy and excited and brought up dinner plans again, pretending that we had never had this conversation before and made me repeat again how badly it was making us feel with them dividing us. Again we were told they would consider it and let us know.

Maybe I am mistaken and have spent my life not understanding the true meaning of friendship or hospitality or generosity but this does not seem to be the behaviour consistent with any of the above.

The next day, Monday, when they were planning on going for dinner on Tuesday and then leaving Thursday morning, they informed us that they had decided to take our friends and neighbours out separately from us, regardless of how we felt.

Then these two supposedly intelligent and "spiritual" people were shocked that they had hurt us. Now one partner was playing the victim and wanting us to feel sorry for how they were feeling after hurting us - PLEEAASEE!! but the other partner blamed their behaviour on ME that this was my fault.

Needless to say they have avoided all contact with us until tonight the night before leaving and what did I receive as a thank you and an apology for their actions - NOTHING - not a bunch of flowers from the market, not a small token gift, not a gift certificate from the restaurant they took our neighbours too, nothing.

Sorry, I am mistaken, I was to receive their blessing for my life. PLEASE!! Like this blessing would a difference in my life and was the grand gesture of the POPE.

The good news besides their leaving is that hubbie and I have bonded more through this ordeal and we have learned many life lessons that will take us far in the future about ourselves and those around us who want to take us for granted.

I feel sorry for the next person who tries to use either of us again, because we are so warned now.

Mom and Dads Anniversary

I know you have not heard from me very much this month. This month has been dig down deep and get everything done. I have been single focused and accomplishing alot. There are so many things that have happened that I have thought I need to write about that in my blog but my focus has not allowed me the time. So I will try to fill in the blanks as much as possible.

Friday was November 28th and it would have been my parents 44th wedding anniversary. They were a testament to until death do us part. My mom was 15 and my dad 19 when they got married.

There were times that it was hell for them and for us as kids. There were times of pure love. Isn't that real life and real love?

I remember one Christmas, after we had opened all our presents, our parents sent us to bed, my mother had one present that was private for just my dad. My curiosity had my sneaking in and watching them and the gift was a 45 record. When they played it, Your in my Soul was playing by Rod Stewart they danced so close and romantic.

They usually went out for a nice romantic dinner every anniversary but they went to a Mexican resort for their 40th. I had planned on throwing them a huge party for their 50th anniversary since I was a child.

Next year on their 45th anniversary, Andre and I are taking them to the Carribean sea and we will scatter their ashes together. That was what I promised my father and I think it is so fitting to do it on a milestone.

Old Mexican Lady

There is an old woman that lives on a corner that I pass, in and out of my house. She is usually out front of her house in the evening, wearing an apron.

I can imagine that she has worked hard cooking and cleaning all day. I imagine that her relaxation is stepping outside, seeing who is around, being a part of the world and stopping to enjoy life.

She looks like an old woman. Not just an old Mexican woman but an old woman. It is truly amazing to me how babies all look like beautiful babies and how old women look like old women, regardless of nationality or status in life.

But this woman is special.

I don't remember when I first started waving to her as I passed, but it has been awhile now. When I wave at her, she waves back but when she waves, she gives me a present.

She smiles.

Her smile is so full of warmth and love and pure happiness. She makes me smile every time I see her. Her smile is missing teeth so it is not that she is outwardly beautiful, although I am sure she was stunning when she was younger. Her smile just makes the world ok.

I look for her every time I drive past and sometimes she has been busy with whoever she is talking to, to notice my driving by. I am sure that I am not as important to her day as she is to mine.

When she doesn't see me or isn't there for me, I truly miss her. I was watching an interview and a story was shared about a famous movie star from a long time ago, forgive me I can't remember his name. The story was about a child who 's bedroom window overlooked a train station and how this child connected with a man on the train, where they waved and connected, even though they never met. The end of the story talked about how some people come into your life and you truly connect heart to heart but you never really know them.

That is this woman to me.

Weather vs. Family and Friends

Forgive my not writing in my blog all weekend. This was a hard weekend for me and I am not sure why.

I woke up Saturday morning so filled with loneliness and sadness of being alone here. I am not sure where it came from but it was so strong it was like a presence beside me constantly.

I avoid people when I am like that as I don't want to spread my poison around. I also personally can not stand the sound of my whining or misery, so I prefer to just ride it out.

When my grandmother asked what was wrong I told her I was sad at being alone and that I missed my husband terribly. She explained in her version of thinking that I should not be sad as I was here in Paradise and it was cold and snowy in Canada. Funny that may be here version of life and it certainly was my father's but it is not mine.

I never could understand how climate was a priority of your family and friends and I used to get very upset at my father for that reason.

I get the amazing comfort of being in a temperate climate all the time. I get the no snow and no ice and no cold. I get the flowers and the trees and the views.

It is beautiful here but nothing for me could replace my family. I know it will be easier when my immediate family is together and we make new friends.

But I know that I will be happier when money is not an object and I can visit my son, my family and the friends that are so precious to me.

I truly wonder if I will ever fully adapt.

Guadalajara Zoo

Today I was a chaperon for Kristen's school trip to the Guadalajara Zoo. I have not been to a zoo in about 20 plus years and I was just as excited as Kristen was.

The children rode in a plush touring bus that would be wonderful for any trip and was so far from the noisy orange school buses that she is used to going on for any school trips. The parents and most of the teachers rode in the school bus, which is a long decked out van, so we rode in peace and quiet.

When we arrived at the zoo there was an amazing fountain out front that held all the faces of the animals on it, for the water to rush around it. It was beautiful and then when we entered the gates, we were met with another large fountain but this time it went down 3 large flights of stairs and had monkeys on all poses inside the fountain. When we looked down the flight of stairs there was another fountain but this one had real live flamingos in it.

We walked to the African safari exhibit and looked at many animals along the way. The African safari was seen via a safari style bus that drove us around. There we saw Hippos, zebras, Ostrich's, buffalo and my favourite was the giraffe's.

We were given chopped up carrots when we got in the bus and we found out what they were for when we got to the giraffe's. They came running for the vehicle and all the children squealed with delight as they ate right out of the children's hands, so gently.

Then we had lunch and went to an exhibit which I am sure was fascinating but I did not understand it because it was all in Spanish. But what I did understand was that it was a presentation about the world and the different climates and how the animals survive there.

Then we went on a train ride through the zoo where we caught quick glances of elephants, tigers, lions and many other exotic animals. I would have loved to have had the time to walk right up to the cages and see the animals.

The zoo was really well done with each animal living in its appropriate surroundings. The mountain goats were in a rocky area, the leopard was in a grassy, treed area that was surrounded by a mote and water to keep it in instead of cages. It was truly wonderful.

We only had 3.5 hours to spend there and that is never enough time to fully appreciate any type of exhibit but it sure was not enough time for me. I will have to go back and spend the day when Andre gets here.

Walmart is Open

This morning at 8am Walmart opened. Normally I would have sauntered in somewhere late in the afternoon but today I had to drive Kristen to school so I thought I might as well get properly dressed and head over there.

I arrived there at 7:45 am and there was already a crowd forming. There were people in balloon costumes and some girls that I thought were picketing but turns out they were just announcing the grand opening.

We waited while they prepared the Priest did his thing. He blessed the store and then walked around with the holy water, please forgive me catholics for not knowing what the whole ceremony was about.

Then every staff member formed a two sided line from the entrance, did a cheer and then clapped welcoming us in. The first person closest the door on the entrance side (I was on the exit side), was asked to cut the ribbon. Pretty cool. I have never walked into a Walmart where the employees were clapping that I was there.

I wandered around and saw all the clothing, bras, appliances, lines ect that I wanted and then I headed to the grocery section. The fresh fish, seafood, meat and produce were wonderful.

I found my Arizona iced teas. Normally I have the big can that says 99 cents on it, but the price was $9.69 pesos which converted now is about 94 -95 cents. Wow my favorite things are cheaper here even if they are produced North.

The lacked some of the things that I need. I wanted sausages but they didnt have any. I wanted smoked salmon and that was no where to be found either. Things that I want for Christmas like herring or a Deli section for ham or turkey, I will have to continue shopping at Super Lake. But maybe someone from Walmart will read this and stock those items.

War Memories from my Grandmother

My grandmother just came over and was sharing with me memories of her living through the war because Remembrance Day is tomorrow. I will do my best to do justice to her story here.

She was in the theatre in Estonia with her two sisters, Helme and Linda when the bombing began. The air siren started and everyone was rushed to the basement bomb shelter.

They did their best to stay near the doorway because they were worried about being crushed by the mob if they panicked.

When the sirens were finished and it was safe to come out, they tried to leave the theatre but every exit was engulfed in flames. Finally they were rescued by German soldiers.

When I asked why the Germans were rescuing them, she said that the Russians were invading and pushing the Germans out, so at that moment in time they were all on the same side.

Everyone climbed into the German army truck that was open on the sides. The truck had been in the process of delivering gasoline somewhere so there was a lot of fear that the bombing planes would return and their truck would burst into flames and they would die in a burning truck.

But they didn't. They managed to get driven to Latvia where they found a farmer that allowed them to hide out in his sauna until it was safe. They slept the night there and when they woke up they found that they were covered in lice due to the lice infested blankets they slept in.

They found their way back to Parnu where her parents lived. Her mother heated up the sauna as hot as she could and everyone deposited their clothes in there to rid themselves of the lice.

It took 3 days for her to be reunited with her husband and when she saw him he was driving injured people to the hospital or they were dead I am not sure which one due to how she told the story because all she remembers is that the car was soaked with blood.

It was that event that made them decide to flee the country and that was when she made her way to Sweden, which is another amazing story of survival. That was where my mother was born and my grandmother began her life as a single parent.

What an amazing life and it is truly amazing that at 94 years old she can recount such a story with all the details.

Chapala Pier

Yesterday when we were in Chapala at the art show, before we returned home we sat at the Beer Garden right on the lake, enjoyed the strongest Cosmo I have ever had, and then walked along the pier.

I had heard ravings about how wonderful the new malecon is but I had never seen it before or ever, until yesterday. The boardwalk is perfectly paved with beautiful tiles. It is such a joy to walk on.

There are brand new park benches all along the pier and stained a deep brown which makes them the most beautiful park benches I have ever seen.

Of course there were flowers all along there hanging from the light poles and alongside the pier.

Chapala Inn is right there off the water and it always looked a little like a hole in the wall from the front but from the back, I would love to stay there, its so beautiful.

They are opening all new restaurants facing the water so it will be a real treat to be there any time day or night.

The PanAm games are coming to Lake Chapala in 2011 I believe and so they are working really hard to upgrade the entire areas. There has been so much money spent and it is so worth it.

Artisans Fair in Chapala

Today I need to get out of the house. Andre was at home in Canada emptying our home, giving away our prized possessions and I was feeling sad.

There is nothing like shopping to cure a little sadness so I asked my friend Janet if she wanted to go. She had already been but was up to tagging along with me. Yeah!!

First we went to find an artisans outlet just outside of Chapala that she had heard good things about. We found it, after a bit of an adventure and they had so many beautiful vases, jars and other ceramic decorative pieces. Because I have not made this house my home yet, nothing jumped out at me. I found nothing that said this would be perfect there.... So I came away empty handed. Janet found that something that she had to have and bought it.

So off we went to the artisans fair at the Yacht club in Chapala. It was a beautiful setting right on the lake and the lawns were filled with so many beautiful things that I just wanted.

There was a large ceramic jar, about 2.5 feet high that was a glistening pineapple. There were so many colours and I really liked them and wanted them. But the big ones that I loved were $1800 pesos, so unless I knew where I wanted to put it, not a good idea.

I found a mesquite wood carving that was about 3 feet high of a dolphin diving in the water. The dolphin was oiled and smooth and the base that it sat on was in its original condition. It matched all the other wood pieces that I had been given by my parents in their travels and matched all the others that I now inherited. It was only $900 pesos so it was a steal but I thought that if I was going to get something like that I should know where it was going to go.

I found so many beautiful things like a silver toilet paper holder that had painted flowers on it, a silver earring holder with a butterfly on it for Kristen.'

Mexico has black pottery that is just spectacular and I had seen it when I was here visiting my parents years ago. I really loved it then and wanted to buy it, and here it was today at the shop. Thank goodness there was not one that I adorded today or my pocket book would have been hurt.

Mexico has the most beautiful artwork made from the bark of a tree. The bark is soaked so they can manipulate it into braids, cutouts and all sorts of designs. The colours are always natural brown, beige or soft white and they had so many there so reasonably priced. I would love to have one and I will one day.

Janet my friend and common sense for the moment made me think about all that I wanted to buy.

So I decided that I would enjoy these found treasurers so much more if I was to search and find them, falling in love with each piece when my husband was here with me and we could build our new home together.

So that is what I am doing. I will wait and live in a house that it filled with memories and some one else's things so that I can create a new life and home, together with the love of my life.

I can't wait!!!

Computer Problems

I don't know why I seem to be cursed with computers but I am.

I wanted to bring my computer down to Mexico with me when I came but right before I brought it down, it got a virus and crashed and needed to be rebuilt. This was not the first time it happened to me or to this computer. I had it rebuilt once before as well.

When we got down here, I found a young computer geek who came over and helped me configure my computer and make it work to peek performance. Everything was wonderful.

Then another virus hit.

So he came and got the computer and took it to the computer lab and loaded Linux and Windows so I could work on both systems. After it came back all done and new, I sent my fathers computer to get the same thing done because it was starting to fail too.

Unfortunately my perfect newly built computer did not last more than a week before it started acting up again and it got progressively worse as time went on.

So Young Techie came back with my fathers computer and took a look at what was wrong. He said something that I can not tell you how many times I have heard it from other techies. He said " I have NEVER seen this one before"

Why does every wierd and unusual issue with computers always happen to me?

So my computer has gone back to Techie Workshop and hopefully it will work again.

Hmmmmm.

Day of the Dead

On Sunday we went to the "Celebration" in Chapala for the Day of the Dead. When you go to such an event you really need to put aside your North of the Border beliefs and traditions because this is the exact opposite of what we are used to.

The history of this celebration is that they believe that on November 1st and 2nd that if they make a proper alter for their beloved. The 1st of November is a memorial for children and the 2nd is for the adults. I don't think I could have handled going to the children's one because it was enough of a culture shock just going on the 2nd.

The altars are 3-4 levels high, with remembrances of those who have passed on. They will have their favourite foods, drinks and activities. Many many of the altars that I saw had bottles of booze on them and it was always the persons preferred brand. All of their good and bad was displayed as it is to show the person as they actually were. There is no hiding of weaknesses for the sake of privacy. Everything is out to show.

One alter that we saw had a corpse displayed laying down on the ground. There were picket fences on either side of the corpse and it had signs saying Disfunctional Life.

Some had slide shows or movies that was the favourite of the deceased.

There was an elaborate altar set up against abortion with a whole production of music and film as well as dolls of difference stages of a fetus.

Some had children and/or adults dressed as the dead. There was one woman dressed with white and black makeup and a bridal gown on holding a sign that she was looking for a new good looking boyfriend. Some people managed to hold not only their poses but their eye expressions were all solid and dead looking. The commitment that it takes to hold these poses was extrodinary.

Most of the altars had food and drink that they handed out to anyone going by. There were sweets and cakes. There was cinnamon tea, pop or rice water (another sweet drink). This event would have a major impact on the budgets of these people but they do it in honour of their loved ones.

We went into a primary school that had displays done by the children. There were shoe boxes dressed as coffins. Some were made of wood and very eloborate. Some of the displays were made of miniture versions of the adult altars with little plastic offerings attached. There was a sound system that had a child's voice saying "Don't cry for me. I am in a wonderful place. Come play with me. Don't cry" It was disturbing and comforting all at the same time.

The belief is that there is a small veil between us here alive and those who have died and that creating there altars with their favourite belongings and strong scents is all that it takes to be reunited with their loved ones. They believe that on this day of the year, they are together with them and the Day of the Dead is a celebration of being back together. There was a store bought sign on one of the altars that said "Feliz Dia de los Meurtos" meaning Happy Day of the Dead like Happy Birthday would be done in Canada.

It is a wonderful concept and thought but I found myself crying over my own personal losses after seeing a mother sobbing in a school after obviously losing a child.

Dragonflies

When my paternal grandmother died 4.5 years ago, my daughter was wearing a black dress with a dragonfly on it. The minister at the funeral used the symbolism of the dragonfly to talk about the passing of my grandmother. Ever since that moment, dragonflies have had a special meaning for me.

I have a dragonfly that hangs on my wall which was a gift from a very dear friend. I used to have plaques with them all over the house.

One day I went to lunch with my friend and her mother in law. We were talking about feeling the spirits of those gone and we were giving all sorts of examples in our lives. It was a very special lunch and very intimate. When I left the restaurant and for the first time in my life, a dragonfly came and landed on my shoulder. It startled me and I without thinking brushed it off. Immediately I knew it was a message and said hello to my grandmother.

When we moved here, there were dragonflies every where. They were playing and dancing in the garden and looking at everything. I was sure it was my parents coming to see the changes in the garden and make sure we were ok.

My grandmother's birthday is the end of August. I had a huge party for the neighbourhood and her friends. I cooked the entire day before and we had a great time. After the party was over, I was hot and tired so I put on my bathing suit and went to the pool. After I cooled down and was relaxing, a dragonfly came and flew around my head. I knew it was my mother thanking me for being there for my grandmother and helping her to forget for a moment. I knew in my heart that was what it was and said your welcome to my mom.

I have not seen any dragonflies since then until yesterday. Yesterday when I was at the school picking up Kristen, a large dragonfly was playing around my car. I watched it go up and down and around all over the car. Then without any notice, it flew in the window and hit my hair. I wish I was calmer, because I jumped out of the car without thinking.

Then this morning Kristen came into my room and told me that there was a large dragonfly in her room. She opened her window and left the room so it could fly out.

I do not know what the dragonflies mean today. Is it a warning? Or is there a lesson to be learned?

Everyone in my life is having a hard year this year, 2008. There is so much turmoil and change and a lot of pain. I have been told that the mystics had forecast that 2008 would be like that. But are these two very personal encounters with the dragonflies a sign of change?

I sure hope so.

Halloween in Mexico

Halloween is one of those North of the Border traditions that is a little confusing here in Mexico.

If you ask any starch Catholic Mexican they will say Halloween is not here and the government is working hard to ensure that it does not come here.

But in my community, only the Mexican families have Halloween decorations. We went out to dinner last night to a Mexican restaurant and they had Day of the Dead and Halloween decorations. The stores have a small area of costumes and candy for Halloween.

A friend of Kristen's is going Trick or Treating and they said that they meet people on the streets where they are waiting with their candy to give out. I was told that the chant was I want Halloween by the children instead of Trick or Treat.

The Day of the Dead is a tradition that is wonderful on the surface but is based on fear and retribution. They honour the dead in their family, remembering the essence of them with their food preferences, their loves in life and music. It is a personal celebration of those who are gone. But the belief is that if you don't do it then the dead will come and wreak havoc with your life.

Mexico is becoming more and more North American but they are still hanging onto their traditions. It is so wonderful to see the balance.

Tonight we are going to a grown up Halloween Party. Kristen made the decision on the costumes. She wants to be a cat, and has decided to be Coco and she wants me to dress as a man, or my father. Not sure if it is ghoulish or a mix of both traditions. Halloween and Day of the Dead all rolled together. Hmmmm.

Dinner with Lena

I have been working all month on entering my mother's personal cookbook on to the internet. So many feelings and memories are coming up.

My mother took all her favourite recipes that she found, traded or made and put them into a binder with plastic lined sheet protectors. The recipes are cut outs, typewriter typed and handwritten. I am sure glad that I knew her style of recipe writing before I began this project because even with the knowledge I am still asking my mom what she meant, by how she wrote it, so many times.

I can feel her close to me and am remembering cooking together, setting the table for events and talking on the phone for endless hours about recipes.

I am planning on putting all of her dinner parties and recipes on the internet and charging a nominal fee to access them as a way of supporting myself here. She kept every dinner plan for everyone she ever had over. I have a 6 inch stack of notebooks filled with her notes, plans and thoughts. I will be showing everyone's first name that attended the party so you will know who you are but still have privacy. I hope when you read it you will remember fondly the fun you had with her.

I am planning on sharing memories and stories of her on this site. You can remember, laugh and take her wonderful expertise and claim it as your own. I am really looking forward to building this project.

If you were not lucky enough to be invited or know her, then you can duplicate exactly what and how she did and I guarantee that you will be honoured with raves and praise by all you entertain.

I am listening to music that she loved and getting up and dancing in between typing. So the positive energy that she had I hope will be transferred to this and she will live on through this site. I am planning on calling it Dinner with Lena. What do you think?

Music Today

Last night when we went out for dinner, someone said that there has been a sadness in the neighbourhood since my parents passing and how the socializing seemed to stop. I remarked that is the last thing my parents would have wanted. They loved to socialize. They loved food and dinner parties. They loved music and laughter. They loved friends.

Last night before I went out I went into the safe and took out my fathers necklace and wore it. I am still wearing it. I am wearing my mothers wedding ring. So I feel their energy close to my skin and heart. Maybe that is why this morning happened.

I got woken up by a friend in distress. I had a message on my answering machine with another friend in turmoil in her life. Then I talked to Andre and we discussing all the details of closing the house and being apart.

I had a heavy heart.

So I decided to change the energy in my house and in my heart. I turned on the satellite radio to the 70's channel and blasted it, loud. I began working around the house cleaning and moving things. I know that I need to get rid of all the things that are bothering me like I did at my own house but the stress of getting rid of things that belonged to my parents is so hard on my grandmother. I have put my needs and my desires aside while she is alive to make it easier on her but it is getting harder and harder for me to suppress my life to keep a facade of my parents life alive for the sake of my grandmother. I know that would be the last thing my parents would have wanted me to do but it is so hard to see her cry at the changes.

The music is loud and making me sing but I find that I still have to work hard to beat the sadness away. Maybe I need disco music or maybe it needs to louder.

I will keep working on it. Christmas is coming and that is going to be a whole new experience.

Good Bye to a Friend

Tonight, we as a community went out to dinner to Ajijic Tango. The reason for our get together was to say good bye to dear friend who has been a major contributor to this community.

She brought her logic to the board. She brought her love of life to her friends and neighbours. She brought friendship to my mother. She brought hope and support to my father.

She has been all of the above to me.

Whenever I miss my mother and need her advice, I go to T. She thinks like my Mom did. She has insight like my mother and she doesn't mince words, just like my mother. Sometimes I can forget for a moment that my mother is gone when I am talking to T. What an amazing gift that is.

My mother was confined to a wheelchair in the last years of her life, due to injuries, so the life of the party and the drawing people together through her parties and friendship, didn't really happen here. She didn't get out to meet the neighbours like she did in both of our houses in Ontario.

But T saw through that and saw the real woman that she was. They connected and were dear friends.

But unfortunately she has her own life commitments and a life elsewhere other than here in Ajijic and she is returning full time to it. She will be so dearly missed by everyone but especially me.

It hard to imagine that you could feel so close and intimate with someone that you have known for such a short time. But that is exactly how I feel about her.

The neighbourhood said goodbye and wished her well.

Her friends are going to miss her presence but know the friendship will follow where she is.

I know I have to really grow up and be the adult and find my inner strength to make a new life. But I am missing the motherly touch that I didn't outgrow in all my 43 years and T was my last connection to that.

Thank you T. You will never know how much you meant to me and how much you truly helped. I wish you and your family a wonderful new life and you always have a friend in me.

He Loves my House

Yesterday Andre met with the new purchaser of our house in Canada and I am thrilled to say, he loved my house.

That may not mean as much to some people as it means to me, so let me explain why it is so wonderfully exciting to me that we have sold our house to someone who loves it as much as we do.

We purchased three years ago, this 130 year old house in a small town. It was one of the original houses of the town and it was in horrible shape. The people who owned it last for almost 40 years, did no upkeep on the house but they did add an addition to help store all their stuff. They were huge collectors of "stuff". They had so much of it that there were pathways to get around the house and their stuff was their insulation. It was horrible on the inside and ugly ugly on the outside.

We gutted the house taking it to the studs. We rebuilt walls and floor joists. We rewired, replumbed, insulated and redesigned the layout. We made a huge master suite with an ensuite that was 12x12'. It was huge.

We made all the closets with lighting that turned on automatically when you opened the doors. The master bedroom had his and hers closets each with double doors.

We made a pantry that could walk in and out of, but it only had narrow shelves for one row of items. That way everything was easily on display and found. It had a pegboard that held all my kitchen tools, so I didn't have to dig in a drawer to find what I wanted. I loved my pantry.

We changed all the windows and doors and put in huge bright windows and doors. We were a bit of a fish bowl but the light that streamed into the house was so wonderful and lifted your heart even in the dreariest of days that we didn't care. The front doors were double doors with full bevelled glass inserts. It was so elegant and it made coloured light sparkle around the entry when the sun hit it.

My kitchen counter was my pride and joy. I went to the nearby beach and after playing in the water with friends and family (I had to go more than once) I pulled out buckets and buckets of small pebbles. We built a custom island with the rocks on the top and 2 part epoxy to hold it together. It was not only beautiful but easy to clean and impenetrable. You could put hot pots on it, chop on it and nothing would damage it. I wanted to make an outside table like that for the deck after we built that, but I guess that is not going to happen.

We had only 1 room left to finish but had all the materials ready to go. The new owner asked for our plans on how we were going to lay it out and I think he is going to use those plans or pretty close to it.

I know I would have been happy just to sell the house so we could be a family together again. But I am so thrilled that he loves all the special touches that we put our heart and soul into. Someone else can finish our dream and we will finish my parents.

How life works!!

Scorpion in the Living Room

Last night around 11:30 at night I was watching tv in my pj's, slightly dozing when I woke up to a 2" long scorpion running from under the couch.

They really are stupid creatures because it ran out from where it was hidden and ran into the middle of the living room and stood there. It stood there while I ran around the house looking for the dang fly swatter. That thing seems to move all over the house and is never where I think it should be.

About 3-4 minutes later, I found a fly swatter and returned to rid myself of this horrible creature. Like every other time I have seen one, this one also stood there and waited for me to squash it. But a thing like a scorpion you want to make sure it is really dead, so I always hit it again and again to be sure that it is not faking it.

Now that the thing is dead and lying in the middle of my living room, now that I have been brave and killed it, now I am frozen in terror and am actually contemplating running out to the security gate in my jammies and asking Rafael to come and pick it up. After convincing myself that this was the most ridiculous thing for a 43 year old woman to do I searched for the second fly swatter.

After finding the second one, we used one to shoe the dead body onto the other swatter and used it as a long carrying board that was far far away from my body and gave the creature a sailors burial with a flush.

They really are so easy to kill and totally stupid by they still elicit such fear in me that I think I will return to wearing my shoes in the house again and get the house resprayed. Now that the rainy season is over they must be coming looking for water again.

Coco is Gone

I just returned from the vet. I have been putting off going because I knew what he would say but after finding myself with the afternoon free and not sleeping for two nights because Coco is up all night screaming in pain, I just couldn't put it off anymore.

The vet examined him and felt his belly. As soon as he touched his kidney's Coco cried in pain. There was no avoiding it, Coco was beginning to die.

I was so afraid of Kristen waking up in the morning and finding him dead and as much as I think I have prepared her, there has been so much death around here, this is really going to devastate her.

I have asked the maids to get rid of the cat box so we don't have to see it and deal with it. They easily complied knowing what has happened around here.

I will put on my happy face when I pick her up and when I get her home, I will break the news. Say a prayer for us tonight. It's going to be a hard evening.

Helping others and Paying it forward

Just like anywhere else in the world, we have people begging for money here too. I think I may have become jaded already.

There was a woman at Super Lake who had 2 children with her. She had a sign asking for money for medicine for her children. I gave her a good sum of money. Then I saw her two days later with a different sign and asking for money again, I told her no, I had already given to her. After talking with others it appears that she rents these children and it is her business.

I saw another woman sitting on the ground, making herself look small and helpless and I thought handicapped. But as I was sitting waiting for my grandmother to finish shopping, I saw her stand, shake herself off of crumbs, pack up her blanket and wish everyone around her a good night and see them tomorrow. Obviously this was her job.

So I no longer to give to beggars. What I do instead is help those close to me who I see trying hard to make a difference in their lives. I have two of them but one in particular that I want to do anything and everything to help.

I have given our maids so much clothing and other things that they can use or sell. I have driven them home because I gave them so much they couldn't take it on the bus. I have served them lunch but that was a disaster. They felt so uncomfortable you could tell they couldn't wait to get out of there.

But the one I really want to help is our neighbourhood security guard. He works 6 nights a week from 8pm - 8am guarding us. Then he works all day painting, moving or anything else that he can do to support his family. He is Kristen's tutor and works with her 5 nights a week. He is kind and hard working and really wants to make a difference in his family's life.

I respect and honour him for how hard he works and every opportunity that I have to help or work for and with him, I will do it. I think that is how to make a difference instead of giving to beggars. So many people in my life reached out and helped me when I needed it, without asking for anything in return. The best thing I can do to repay them is to pay it forward.

What a great movie that is.