Mom and Dads Anniversary

I know you have not heard from me very much this month. This month has been dig down deep and get everything done. I have been single focused and accomplishing alot. There are so many things that have happened that I have thought I need to write about that in my blog but my focus has not allowed me the time. So I will try to fill in the blanks as much as possible.

Friday was November 28th and it would have been my parents 44th wedding anniversary. They were a testament to until death do us part. My mom was 15 and my dad 19 when they got married.

There were times that it was hell for them and for us as kids. There were times of pure love. Isn't that real life and real love?

I remember one Christmas, after we had opened all our presents, our parents sent us to bed, my mother had one present that was private for just my dad. My curiosity had my sneaking in and watching them and the gift was a 45 record. When they played it, Your in my Soul was playing by Rod Stewart they danced so close and romantic.

They usually went out for a nice romantic dinner every anniversary but they went to a Mexican resort for their 40th. I had planned on throwing them a huge party for their 50th anniversary since I was a child.

Next year on their 45th anniversary, Andre and I are taking them to the Carribean sea and we will scatter their ashes together. That was what I promised my father and I think it is so fitting to do it on a milestone.

Old Mexican Lady

There is an old woman that lives on a corner that I pass, in and out of my house. She is usually out front of her house in the evening, wearing an apron.

I can imagine that she has worked hard cooking and cleaning all day. I imagine that her relaxation is stepping outside, seeing who is around, being a part of the world and stopping to enjoy life.

She looks like an old woman. Not just an old Mexican woman but an old woman. It is truly amazing to me how babies all look like beautiful babies and how old women look like old women, regardless of nationality or status in life.

But this woman is special.

I don't remember when I first started waving to her as I passed, but it has been awhile now. When I wave at her, she waves back but when she waves, she gives me a present.

She smiles.

Her smile is so full of warmth and love and pure happiness. She makes me smile every time I see her. Her smile is missing teeth so it is not that she is outwardly beautiful, although I am sure she was stunning when she was younger. Her smile just makes the world ok.

I look for her every time I drive past and sometimes she has been busy with whoever she is talking to, to notice my driving by. I am sure that I am not as important to her day as she is to mine.

When she doesn't see me or isn't there for me, I truly miss her. I was watching an interview and a story was shared about a famous movie star from a long time ago, forgive me I can't remember his name. The story was about a child who 's bedroom window overlooked a train station and how this child connected with a man on the train, where they waved and connected, even though they never met. The end of the story talked about how some people come into your life and you truly connect heart to heart but you never really know them.

That is this woman to me.

Weather vs. Family and Friends

Forgive my not writing in my blog all weekend. This was a hard weekend for me and I am not sure why.

I woke up Saturday morning so filled with loneliness and sadness of being alone here. I am not sure where it came from but it was so strong it was like a presence beside me constantly.

I avoid people when I am like that as I don't want to spread my poison around. I also personally can not stand the sound of my whining or misery, so I prefer to just ride it out.

When my grandmother asked what was wrong I told her I was sad at being alone and that I missed my husband terribly. She explained in her version of thinking that I should not be sad as I was here in Paradise and it was cold and snowy in Canada. Funny that may be here version of life and it certainly was my father's but it is not mine.

I never could understand how climate was a priority of your family and friends and I used to get very upset at my father for that reason.

I get the amazing comfort of being in a temperate climate all the time. I get the no snow and no ice and no cold. I get the flowers and the trees and the views.

It is beautiful here but nothing for me could replace my family. I know it will be easier when my immediate family is together and we make new friends.

But I know that I will be happier when money is not an object and I can visit my son, my family and the friends that are so precious to me.

I truly wonder if I will ever fully adapt.

Guadalajara Zoo

Today I was a chaperon for Kristen's school trip to the Guadalajara Zoo. I have not been to a zoo in about 20 plus years and I was just as excited as Kristen was.

The children rode in a plush touring bus that would be wonderful for any trip and was so far from the noisy orange school buses that she is used to going on for any school trips. The parents and most of the teachers rode in the school bus, which is a long decked out van, so we rode in peace and quiet.

When we arrived at the zoo there was an amazing fountain out front that held all the faces of the animals on it, for the water to rush around it. It was beautiful and then when we entered the gates, we were met with another large fountain but this time it went down 3 large flights of stairs and had monkeys on all poses inside the fountain. When we looked down the flight of stairs there was another fountain but this one had real live flamingos in it.

We walked to the African safari exhibit and looked at many animals along the way. The African safari was seen via a safari style bus that drove us around. There we saw Hippos, zebras, Ostrich's, buffalo and my favourite was the giraffe's.

We were given chopped up carrots when we got in the bus and we found out what they were for when we got to the giraffe's. They came running for the vehicle and all the children squealed with delight as they ate right out of the children's hands, so gently.

Then we had lunch and went to an exhibit which I am sure was fascinating but I did not understand it because it was all in Spanish. But what I did understand was that it was a presentation about the world and the different climates and how the animals survive there.

Then we went on a train ride through the zoo where we caught quick glances of elephants, tigers, lions and many other exotic animals. I would have loved to have had the time to walk right up to the cages and see the animals.

The zoo was really well done with each animal living in its appropriate surroundings. The mountain goats were in a rocky area, the leopard was in a grassy, treed area that was surrounded by a mote and water to keep it in instead of cages. It was truly wonderful.

We only had 3.5 hours to spend there and that is never enough time to fully appreciate any type of exhibit but it sure was not enough time for me. I will have to go back and spend the day when Andre gets here.

Walmart is Open

This morning at 8am Walmart opened. Normally I would have sauntered in somewhere late in the afternoon but today I had to drive Kristen to school so I thought I might as well get properly dressed and head over there.

I arrived there at 7:45 am and there was already a crowd forming. There were people in balloon costumes and some girls that I thought were picketing but turns out they were just announcing the grand opening.

We waited while they prepared the Priest did his thing. He blessed the store and then walked around with the holy water, please forgive me catholics for not knowing what the whole ceremony was about.

Then every staff member formed a two sided line from the entrance, did a cheer and then clapped welcoming us in. The first person closest the door on the entrance side (I was on the exit side), was asked to cut the ribbon. Pretty cool. I have never walked into a Walmart where the employees were clapping that I was there.

I wandered around and saw all the clothing, bras, appliances, lines ect that I wanted and then I headed to the grocery section. The fresh fish, seafood, meat and produce were wonderful.

I found my Arizona iced teas. Normally I have the big can that says 99 cents on it, but the price was $9.69 pesos which converted now is about 94 -95 cents. Wow my favorite things are cheaper here even if they are produced North.

The lacked some of the things that I need. I wanted sausages but they didnt have any. I wanted smoked salmon and that was no where to be found either. Things that I want for Christmas like herring or a Deli section for ham or turkey, I will have to continue shopping at Super Lake. But maybe someone from Walmart will read this and stock those items.

War Memories from my Grandmother

My grandmother just came over and was sharing with me memories of her living through the war because Remembrance Day is tomorrow. I will do my best to do justice to her story here.

She was in the theatre in Estonia with her two sisters, Helme and Linda when the bombing began. The air siren started and everyone was rushed to the basement bomb shelter.

They did their best to stay near the doorway because they were worried about being crushed by the mob if they panicked.

When the sirens were finished and it was safe to come out, they tried to leave the theatre but every exit was engulfed in flames. Finally they were rescued by German soldiers.

When I asked why the Germans were rescuing them, she said that the Russians were invading and pushing the Germans out, so at that moment in time they were all on the same side.

Everyone climbed into the German army truck that was open on the sides. The truck had been in the process of delivering gasoline somewhere so there was a lot of fear that the bombing planes would return and their truck would burst into flames and they would die in a burning truck.

But they didn't. They managed to get driven to Latvia where they found a farmer that allowed them to hide out in his sauna until it was safe. They slept the night there and when they woke up they found that they were covered in lice due to the lice infested blankets they slept in.

They found their way back to Parnu where her parents lived. Her mother heated up the sauna as hot as she could and everyone deposited their clothes in there to rid themselves of the lice.

It took 3 days for her to be reunited with her husband and when she saw him he was driving injured people to the hospital or they were dead I am not sure which one due to how she told the story because all she remembers is that the car was soaked with blood.

It was that event that made them decide to flee the country and that was when she made her way to Sweden, which is another amazing story of survival. That was where my mother was born and my grandmother began her life as a single parent.

What an amazing life and it is truly amazing that at 94 years old she can recount such a story with all the details.

Chapala Pier

Yesterday when we were in Chapala at the art show, before we returned home we sat at the Beer Garden right on the lake, enjoyed the strongest Cosmo I have ever had, and then walked along the pier.

I had heard ravings about how wonderful the new malecon is but I had never seen it before or ever, until yesterday. The boardwalk is perfectly paved with beautiful tiles. It is such a joy to walk on.

There are brand new park benches all along the pier and stained a deep brown which makes them the most beautiful park benches I have ever seen.

Of course there were flowers all along there hanging from the light poles and alongside the pier.

Chapala Inn is right there off the water and it always looked a little like a hole in the wall from the front but from the back, I would love to stay there, its so beautiful.

They are opening all new restaurants facing the water so it will be a real treat to be there any time day or night.

The PanAm games are coming to Lake Chapala in 2011 I believe and so they are working really hard to upgrade the entire areas. There has been so much money spent and it is so worth it.

Artisans Fair in Chapala

Today I need to get out of the house. Andre was at home in Canada emptying our home, giving away our prized possessions and I was feeling sad.

There is nothing like shopping to cure a little sadness so I asked my friend Janet if she wanted to go. She had already been but was up to tagging along with me. Yeah!!

First we went to find an artisans outlet just outside of Chapala that she had heard good things about. We found it, after a bit of an adventure and they had so many beautiful vases, jars and other ceramic decorative pieces. Because I have not made this house my home yet, nothing jumped out at me. I found nothing that said this would be perfect there.... So I came away empty handed. Janet found that something that she had to have and bought it.

So off we went to the artisans fair at the Yacht club in Chapala. It was a beautiful setting right on the lake and the lawns were filled with so many beautiful things that I just wanted.

There was a large ceramic jar, about 2.5 feet high that was a glistening pineapple. There were so many colours and I really liked them and wanted them. But the big ones that I loved were $1800 pesos, so unless I knew where I wanted to put it, not a good idea.

I found a mesquite wood carving that was about 3 feet high of a dolphin diving in the water. The dolphin was oiled and smooth and the base that it sat on was in its original condition. It matched all the other wood pieces that I had been given by my parents in their travels and matched all the others that I now inherited. It was only $900 pesos so it was a steal but I thought that if I was going to get something like that I should know where it was going to go.

I found so many beautiful things like a silver toilet paper holder that had painted flowers on it, a silver earring holder with a butterfly on it for Kristen.'

Mexico has black pottery that is just spectacular and I had seen it when I was here visiting my parents years ago. I really loved it then and wanted to buy it, and here it was today at the shop. Thank goodness there was not one that I adorded today or my pocket book would have been hurt.

Mexico has the most beautiful artwork made from the bark of a tree. The bark is soaked so they can manipulate it into braids, cutouts and all sorts of designs. The colours are always natural brown, beige or soft white and they had so many there so reasonably priced. I would love to have one and I will one day.

Janet my friend and common sense for the moment made me think about all that I wanted to buy.

So I decided that I would enjoy these found treasurers so much more if I was to search and find them, falling in love with each piece when my husband was here with me and we could build our new home together.

So that is what I am doing. I will wait and live in a house that it filled with memories and some one else's things so that I can create a new life and home, together with the love of my life.

I can't wait!!!

Computer Problems

I don't know why I seem to be cursed with computers but I am.

I wanted to bring my computer down to Mexico with me when I came but right before I brought it down, it got a virus and crashed and needed to be rebuilt. This was not the first time it happened to me or to this computer. I had it rebuilt once before as well.

When we got down here, I found a young computer geek who came over and helped me configure my computer and make it work to peek performance. Everything was wonderful.

Then another virus hit.

So he came and got the computer and took it to the computer lab and loaded Linux and Windows so I could work on both systems. After it came back all done and new, I sent my fathers computer to get the same thing done because it was starting to fail too.

Unfortunately my perfect newly built computer did not last more than a week before it started acting up again and it got progressively worse as time went on.

So Young Techie came back with my fathers computer and took a look at what was wrong. He said something that I can not tell you how many times I have heard it from other techies. He said " I have NEVER seen this one before"

Why does every wierd and unusual issue with computers always happen to me?

So my computer has gone back to Techie Workshop and hopefully it will work again.

Hmmmmm.

Day of the Dead

On Sunday we went to the "Celebration" in Chapala for the Day of the Dead. When you go to such an event you really need to put aside your North of the Border beliefs and traditions because this is the exact opposite of what we are used to.

The history of this celebration is that they believe that on November 1st and 2nd that if they make a proper alter for their beloved. The 1st of November is a memorial for children and the 2nd is for the adults. I don't think I could have handled going to the children's one because it was enough of a culture shock just going on the 2nd.

The altars are 3-4 levels high, with remembrances of those who have passed on. They will have their favourite foods, drinks and activities. Many many of the altars that I saw had bottles of booze on them and it was always the persons preferred brand. All of their good and bad was displayed as it is to show the person as they actually were. There is no hiding of weaknesses for the sake of privacy. Everything is out to show.

One alter that we saw had a corpse displayed laying down on the ground. There were picket fences on either side of the corpse and it had signs saying Disfunctional Life.

Some had slide shows or movies that was the favourite of the deceased.

There was an elaborate altar set up against abortion with a whole production of music and film as well as dolls of difference stages of a fetus.

Some had children and/or adults dressed as the dead. There was one woman dressed with white and black makeup and a bridal gown on holding a sign that she was looking for a new good looking boyfriend. Some people managed to hold not only their poses but their eye expressions were all solid and dead looking. The commitment that it takes to hold these poses was extrodinary.

Most of the altars had food and drink that they handed out to anyone going by. There were sweets and cakes. There was cinnamon tea, pop or rice water (another sweet drink). This event would have a major impact on the budgets of these people but they do it in honour of their loved ones.

We went into a primary school that had displays done by the children. There were shoe boxes dressed as coffins. Some were made of wood and very eloborate. Some of the displays were made of miniture versions of the adult altars with little plastic offerings attached. There was a sound system that had a child's voice saying "Don't cry for me. I am in a wonderful place. Come play with me. Don't cry" It was disturbing and comforting all at the same time.

The belief is that there is a small veil between us here alive and those who have died and that creating there altars with their favourite belongings and strong scents is all that it takes to be reunited with their loved ones. They believe that on this day of the year, they are together with them and the Day of the Dead is a celebration of being back together. There was a store bought sign on one of the altars that said "Feliz Dia de los Meurtos" meaning Happy Day of the Dead like Happy Birthday would be done in Canada.

It is a wonderful concept and thought but I found myself crying over my own personal losses after seeing a mother sobbing in a school after obviously losing a child.

Dragonflies

When my paternal grandmother died 4.5 years ago, my daughter was wearing a black dress with a dragonfly on it. The minister at the funeral used the symbolism of the dragonfly to talk about the passing of my grandmother. Ever since that moment, dragonflies have had a special meaning for me.

I have a dragonfly that hangs on my wall which was a gift from a very dear friend. I used to have plaques with them all over the house.

One day I went to lunch with my friend and her mother in law. We were talking about feeling the spirits of those gone and we were giving all sorts of examples in our lives. It was a very special lunch and very intimate. When I left the restaurant and for the first time in my life, a dragonfly came and landed on my shoulder. It startled me and I without thinking brushed it off. Immediately I knew it was a message and said hello to my grandmother.

When we moved here, there were dragonflies every where. They were playing and dancing in the garden and looking at everything. I was sure it was my parents coming to see the changes in the garden and make sure we were ok.

My grandmother's birthday is the end of August. I had a huge party for the neighbourhood and her friends. I cooked the entire day before and we had a great time. After the party was over, I was hot and tired so I put on my bathing suit and went to the pool. After I cooled down and was relaxing, a dragonfly came and flew around my head. I knew it was my mother thanking me for being there for my grandmother and helping her to forget for a moment. I knew in my heart that was what it was and said your welcome to my mom.

I have not seen any dragonflies since then until yesterday. Yesterday when I was at the school picking up Kristen, a large dragonfly was playing around my car. I watched it go up and down and around all over the car. Then without any notice, it flew in the window and hit my hair. I wish I was calmer, because I jumped out of the car without thinking.

Then this morning Kristen came into my room and told me that there was a large dragonfly in her room. She opened her window and left the room so it could fly out.

I do not know what the dragonflies mean today. Is it a warning? Or is there a lesson to be learned?

Everyone in my life is having a hard year this year, 2008. There is so much turmoil and change and a lot of pain. I have been told that the mystics had forecast that 2008 would be like that. But are these two very personal encounters with the dragonflies a sign of change?

I sure hope so.

Halloween in Mexico

Halloween is one of those North of the Border traditions that is a little confusing here in Mexico.

If you ask any starch Catholic Mexican they will say Halloween is not here and the government is working hard to ensure that it does not come here.

But in my community, only the Mexican families have Halloween decorations. We went out to dinner last night to a Mexican restaurant and they had Day of the Dead and Halloween decorations. The stores have a small area of costumes and candy for Halloween.

A friend of Kristen's is going Trick or Treating and they said that they meet people on the streets where they are waiting with their candy to give out. I was told that the chant was I want Halloween by the children instead of Trick or Treat.

The Day of the Dead is a tradition that is wonderful on the surface but is based on fear and retribution. They honour the dead in their family, remembering the essence of them with their food preferences, their loves in life and music. It is a personal celebration of those who are gone. But the belief is that if you don't do it then the dead will come and wreak havoc with your life.

Mexico is becoming more and more North American but they are still hanging onto their traditions. It is so wonderful to see the balance.

Tonight we are going to a grown up Halloween Party. Kristen made the decision on the costumes. She wants to be a cat, and has decided to be Coco and she wants me to dress as a man, or my father. Not sure if it is ghoulish or a mix of both traditions. Halloween and Day of the Dead all rolled together. Hmmmm.

Dinner with Lena

I have been working all month on entering my mother's personal cookbook on to the internet. So many feelings and memories are coming up.

My mother took all her favourite recipes that she found, traded or made and put them into a binder with plastic lined sheet protectors. The recipes are cut outs, typewriter typed and handwritten. I am sure glad that I knew her style of recipe writing before I began this project because even with the knowledge I am still asking my mom what she meant, by how she wrote it, so many times.

I can feel her close to me and am remembering cooking together, setting the table for events and talking on the phone for endless hours about recipes.

I am planning on putting all of her dinner parties and recipes on the internet and charging a nominal fee to access them as a way of supporting myself here. She kept every dinner plan for everyone she ever had over. I have a 6 inch stack of notebooks filled with her notes, plans and thoughts. I will be showing everyone's first name that attended the party so you will know who you are but still have privacy. I hope when you read it you will remember fondly the fun you had with her.

I am planning on sharing memories and stories of her on this site. You can remember, laugh and take her wonderful expertise and claim it as your own. I am really looking forward to building this project.

If you were not lucky enough to be invited or know her, then you can duplicate exactly what and how she did and I guarantee that you will be honoured with raves and praise by all you entertain.

I am listening to music that she loved and getting up and dancing in between typing. So the positive energy that she had I hope will be transferred to this and she will live on through this site. I am planning on calling it Dinner with Lena. What do you think?

Music Today

Last night when we went out for dinner, someone said that there has been a sadness in the neighbourhood since my parents passing and how the socializing seemed to stop. I remarked that is the last thing my parents would have wanted. They loved to socialize. They loved food and dinner parties. They loved music and laughter. They loved friends.

Last night before I went out I went into the safe and took out my fathers necklace and wore it. I am still wearing it. I am wearing my mothers wedding ring. So I feel their energy close to my skin and heart. Maybe that is why this morning happened.

I got woken up by a friend in distress. I had a message on my answering machine with another friend in turmoil in her life. Then I talked to Andre and we discussing all the details of closing the house and being apart.

I had a heavy heart.

So I decided to change the energy in my house and in my heart. I turned on the satellite radio to the 70's channel and blasted it, loud. I began working around the house cleaning and moving things. I know that I need to get rid of all the things that are bothering me like I did at my own house but the stress of getting rid of things that belonged to my parents is so hard on my grandmother. I have put my needs and my desires aside while she is alive to make it easier on her but it is getting harder and harder for me to suppress my life to keep a facade of my parents life alive for the sake of my grandmother. I know that would be the last thing my parents would have wanted me to do but it is so hard to see her cry at the changes.

The music is loud and making me sing but I find that I still have to work hard to beat the sadness away. Maybe I need disco music or maybe it needs to louder.

I will keep working on it. Christmas is coming and that is going to be a whole new experience.

Good Bye to a Friend

Tonight, we as a community went out to dinner to Ajijic Tango. The reason for our get together was to say good bye to dear friend who has been a major contributor to this community.

She brought her logic to the board. She brought her love of life to her friends and neighbours. She brought friendship to my mother. She brought hope and support to my father.

She has been all of the above to me.

Whenever I miss my mother and need her advice, I go to T. She thinks like my Mom did. She has insight like my mother and she doesn't mince words, just like my mother. Sometimes I can forget for a moment that my mother is gone when I am talking to T. What an amazing gift that is.

My mother was confined to a wheelchair in the last years of her life, due to injuries, so the life of the party and the drawing people together through her parties and friendship, didn't really happen here. She didn't get out to meet the neighbours like she did in both of our houses in Ontario.

But T saw through that and saw the real woman that she was. They connected and were dear friends.

But unfortunately she has her own life commitments and a life elsewhere other than here in Ajijic and she is returning full time to it. She will be so dearly missed by everyone but especially me.

It hard to imagine that you could feel so close and intimate with someone that you have known for such a short time. But that is exactly how I feel about her.

The neighbourhood said goodbye and wished her well.

Her friends are going to miss her presence but know the friendship will follow where she is.

I know I have to really grow up and be the adult and find my inner strength to make a new life. But I am missing the motherly touch that I didn't outgrow in all my 43 years and T was my last connection to that.

Thank you T. You will never know how much you meant to me and how much you truly helped. I wish you and your family a wonderful new life and you always have a friend in me.

He Loves my House

Yesterday Andre met with the new purchaser of our house in Canada and I am thrilled to say, he loved my house.

That may not mean as much to some people as it means to me, so let me explain why it is so wonderfully exciting to me that we have sold our house to someone who loves it as much as we do.

We purchased three years ago, this 130 year old house in a small town. It was one of the original houses of the town and it was in horrible shape. The people who owned it last for almost 40 years, did no upkeep on the house but they did add an addition to help store all their stuff. They were huge collectors of "stuff". They had so much of it that there were pathways to get around the house and their stuff was their insulation. It was horrible on the inside and ugly ugly on the outside.

We gutted the house taking it to the studs. We rebuilt walls and floor joists. We rewired, replumbed, insulated and redesigned the layout. We made a huge master suite with an ensuite that was 12x12'. It was huge.

We made all the closets with lighting that turned on automatically when you opened the doors. The master bedroom had his and hers closets each with double doors.

We made a pantry that could walk in and out of, but it only had narrow shelves for one row of items. That way everything was easily on display and found. It had a pegboard that held all my kitchen tools, so I didn't have to dig in a drawer to find what I wanted. I loved my pantry.

We changed all the windows and doors and put in huge bright windows and doors. We were a bit of a fish bowl but the light that streamed into the house was so wonderful and lifted your heart even in the dreariest of days that we didn't care. The front doors were double doors with full bevelled glass inserts. It was so elegant and it made coloured light sparkle around the entry when the sun hit it.

My kitchen counter was my pride and joy. I went to the nearby beach and after playing in the water with friends and family (I had to go more than once) I pulled out buckets and buckets of small pebbles. We built a custom island with the rocks on the top and 2 part epoxy to hold it together. It was not only beautiful but easy to clean and impenetrable. You could put hot pots on it, chop on it and nothing would damage it. I wanted to make an outside table like that for the deck after we built that, but I guess that is not going to happen.

We had only 1 room left to finish but had all the materials ready to go. The new owner asked for our plans on how we were going to lay it out and I think he is going to use those plans or pretty close to it.

I know I would have been happy just to sell the house so we could be a family together again. But I am so thrilled that he loves all the special touches that we put our heart and soul into. Someone else can finish our dream and we will finish my parents.

How life works!!

Scorpion in the Living Room

Last night around 11:30 at night I was watching tv in my pj's, slightly dozing when I woke up to a 2" long scorpion running from under the couch.

They really are stupid creatures because it ran out from where it was hidden and ran into the middle of the living room and stood there. It stood there while I ran around the house looking for the dang fly swatter. That thing seems to move all over the house and is never where I think it should be.

About 3-4 minutes later, I found a fly swatter and returned to rid myself of this horrible creature. Like every other time I have seen one, this one also stood there and waited for me to squash it. But a thing like a scorpion you want to make sure it is really dead, so I always hit it again and again to be sure that it is not faking it.

Now that the thing is dead and lying in the middle of my living room, now that I have been brave and killed it, now I am frozen in terror and am actually contemplating running out to the security gate in my jammies and asking Rafael to come and pick it up. After convincing myself that this was the most ridiculous thing for a 43 year old woman to do I searched for the second fly swatter.

After finding the second one, we used one to shoe the dead body onto the other swatter and used it as a long carrying board that was far far away from my body and gave the creature a sailors burial with a flush.

They really are so easy to kill and totally stupid by they still elicit such fear in me that I think I will return to wearing my shoes in the house again and get the house resprayed. Now that the rainy season is over they must be coming looking for water again.

Coco is Gone

I just returned from the vet. I have been putting off going because I knew what he would say but after finding myself with the afternoon free and not sleeping for two nights because Coco is up all night screaming in pain, I just couldn't put it off anymore.

The vet examined him and felt his belly. As soon as he touched his kidney's Coco cried in pain. There was no avoiding it, Coco was beginning to die.

I was so afraid of Kristen waking up in the morning and finding him dead and as much as I think I have prepared her, there has been so much death around here, this is really going to devastate her.

I have asked the maids to get rid of the cat box so we don't have to see it and deal with it. They easily complied knowing what has happened around here.

I will put on my happy face when I pick her up and when I get her home, I will break the news. Say a prayer for us tonight. It's going to be a hard evening.

Helping others and Paying it forward

Just like anywhere else in the world, we have people begging for money here too. I think I may have become jaded already.

There was a woman at Super Lake who had 2 children with her. She had a sign asking for money for medicine for her children. I gave her a good sum of money. Then I saw her two days later with a different sign and asking for money again, I told her no, I had already given to her. After talking with others it appears that she rents these children and it is her business.

I saw another woman sitting on the ground, making herself look small and helpless and I thought handicapped. But as I was sitting waiting for my grandmother to finish shopping, I saw her stand, shake herself off of crumbs, pack up her blanket and wish everyone around her a good night and see them tomorrow. Obviously this was her job.

So I no longer to give to beggars. What I do instead is help those close to me who I see trying hard to make a difference in their lives. I have two of them but one in particular that I want to do anything and everything to help.

I have given our maids so much clothing and other things that they can use or sell. I have driven them home because I gave them so much they couldn't take it on the bus. I have served them lunch but that was a disaster. They felt so uncomfortable you could tell they couldn't wait to get out of there.

But the one I really want to help is our neighbourhood security guard. He works 6 nights a week from 8pm - 8am guarding us. Then he works all day painting, moving or anything else that he can do to support his family. He is Kristen's tutor and works with her 5 nights a week. He is kind and hard working and really wants to make a difference in his family's life.

I respect and honour him for how hard he works and every opportunity that I have to help or work for and with him, I will do it. I think that is how to make a difference instead of giving to beggars. So many people in my life reached out and helped me when I needed it, without asking for anything in return. The best thing I can do to repay them is to pay it forward.

What a great movie that is.

Pain and Confusion

Today Kristen and I drove Andre to the airport to send him off for another 2 months, when he can come visit his family again for Christmas. I kept waiting for it to hit Kristen and figured that bedtime would be the time.

Sure enough bedtime came and Kristen had a stomach ache and wanted to sleep in bed with me. She was crying and saying how much she liked having her father around and she knew that it had to be like this but it still hurt her. She then began crying about the cat being sick and maybe dying.

She seems to have tied loss and pain to animals and that is how she copes. She has transferred her pain of her grandparents and all her loss to our dog Zena and now Coco.

I am left thinking is 2008 the year of loss for our family and will we make it through? Coco won't live too much longer, he is getting sick and crying all the time again. Aama is getting older and who knows how much longer she has. We have lost my parents and moved our lives, uprooted from family and friends and separated an immediate family, all for the love of family. How ironic is that?

Will this be a good experience for Kristen that shows her the power of love and family or will she resent me putting my elderly grandmothers needs above hers? Will be away from her father for almost a year be a serious detriment to her life or will she learn to appreciate time and love more for this experience?

How I wish I had a crystal ball and knew that all our decisions were the best ones for all of us. How I wish I knew how to proceed and do the right thing. How I wish I knew that at the end of all this pain, separation and turmoil will be our reward and paradise. But I guess that is what faith is.

But its moments like this that I am thankful that my daughter needs me and wants to sleep with me so I don't have to feel so alone as well. Comforting her allows me to feel my own pain and get support from her. One day she may read this and know that I need her as much as she needs me during this time. Truly we are all we have right now and what I know for sure is that we can get through anything no matter how much it hurts.

Driving in Guadalajara

Yesterday we made the trek to Guadalajara. I wanted to go to Costco, the mall, Ford dealership to look at my car to give an estimate etc and then we were returning home to go to dinner with Sandra and Henri, our neighbours.

We got up early enough and headed out. Our first arrival (we went in order of finding the places) was Walmart to see if they had any bedding that Kristen liked. She has a twin bed and only has queen sheets for them - so it doesn't work well and here in Ajijic we currently only have Soriana for sheets and you can only get 180 thread counts. Walmart had nothing that she liked and the shoes didnt fit her either so we left.

We found Ford next and they appraised the damage on the car from my accident and said even if the parts were available in Mexico (but they aren't) it would cost almost $26,000 pesos. Too much. I will talk to our insurance next week.

We asked them to hook up the car to a diagnotic to tell us why the car kept stalling. They wouldn't have the computer tool until Monday and they suggested that we get it done in Ajijic.

So we headed off to Costco. The computer file back up I want is too expensive here so I will have Andre bring one down at Christmas and they had no twin sheet sets only Queen and King, so other than getting to see what Costco had and getting a new stainless steel cannister set, Costco was a bust too.

We headed across the street to the Galleria Mall and off to Sears - yes Sears is here too. Their bedding department is much smaller than north of border and hideously expensive, 850 pesos for twin set of sheets with 150 thread count. Not for me. So that wasn't a great time saver either.

So we left there to go to the outlet mall on the outskirts of town to see if they had bedding for her bed otherwise we decided she could wait until Christmas. And turning left onto our street, the car stalled and refused to restart. You have to let it wait until it is ready to restart but in the middle of a busy 6 lane road was not an ideal place for it to happen. I had visions of the Federales coming to move us because of all the cars honking at us, asking for our import papers and them taking the car from me because I still can't find them. Thankfully the car started before my worst nightmare happened.

We arrived at the outlet mall and there was a bedding store with tons of sheets, duvet covers and bed in a bag, which is what I wanted. And we settled on a brown, blue and green set with circles. It is really cool looking and we are all happy.

I do not think I will venture out as far as Guad again until the car is in my name and Jalisco plated (which is how we have decided to proceed). The stress is just not worth it.

But dinner and our company was a perfect way to end such a day. We had an awesome time.

Tobilandia and Pizza

Today was the day that we celebrated Kristen's birthday with her friends. It was too hard to try to do it during the week with her tutoring and after school lessons, so we decided on today.

Since we moved here all I have heard about is her wanting to go to Tobilandia. It is a water park very close to our house. So her wish was to go there. Her school ends at 1:30 and the park closes at 6pm so we had tons of time.

Friday is not a busy day there so with only 2-3 other families in the whole park, the kids had the place to themsleves. The water slides twisted and turned around each other and they changed which slides were open at a time. I believe that was to make sure that there were no accidents in the catch pool.

The had inner tubes to run down the slides with and the stairs that those children climbed over and over to get to the top and slide down, was better then any exercise program. Maybe that is what we adults should do to stay in shape and lose weight, we should just play like a child.

Dinner after was at Toscana's the best pizza in Mexico because the owner is from Tuscany. Can you imagine leaving one paradise to come to another? We are all so glad that he did because his crust is so amazing.

I have stopped ordering the pizza when I go there because if you order a salad or pasta you get the pizza crust, baked with olive oil and salt and pepper and it is the best thing I have ever tasted. It is light and flaky and so good.

Tonight I had a salad with pears, walnuts, goat cheese and honey. A salad that tasted like desert. My main course was decadent pasta with garlic, olive oil and parmesan cheese.

Have you noticed that I talk about food a lot?

Lake Chapala's Martha Stewart

Last night we were invited to Rosemary and Bob's house for dinner. I love their house, their company, their friendship but even if didn't have all that going for them, being invited to their house for dinner would still be an honour.

My grandmother was invited as well and she was welcomed with her favourite drink, Vodka and Orange Juice. But this was not just a normal drink because they squeezed the oranges to make homemade juice.

Their house is built into the mountainside and has a spectacular view of the lake and mountains. That was where we enjoyed our conversation and drinks while getting ready for dinner.

We were fed the most amazing Chinese food, better than any restaurant I have ever been to and it was all homemade. We had coconut shrimp, egg rolls, crab balls, shrimp with lobster sauce and more. Our desert was homemade key lime pie made with the juice of the limes from their own trees.

After dinner our daughter was invited into the craft room. Imagine a whole room to do what you love. I would so want one of my own. There they sat making homemade earrings of Kristen's choice of bead. Spoiled!

We were sent home each with a homemade loaf of bread. Rosemary makes the most amazing bread you have ever tasted. I tried desperately to resist eating any when we arrived home because I was so full from dinner but all night their was a voice calling me "I'm over here - try me with butter" and finally at 11pm I broke down and did just as the voice suggested. Soo goood!!

We definitely have our own Martha Stewart right here at Lakeside and I feel so blessed to be invited. Thank you.

Maybe next spring we will be together

We were woken up this morning by our Canadian real estate agent calling us to say that we had an offer on our house in Canada. It is creative financing but at least everyone would be getting what they wanted.

The offer is full price but the purchaser would rent our house until it closes and they do have until March 1st to remove all clauses. We are going for it because this person really likes our house but they can't afford it right now. So they would rent which would lessen our load and we would have an end date.

I think that is the greatest value to us knowing that we would know exactly when our separation would end. That is the hardest part for me.

Andre will come down here at Christmas for 2 weeks and then I wouldn't see him again until we met at the border when he comes down with my car and my lamps and my other stuff that makes you feel like you are at home.

Imagine that, when he arrives my home will complete in all areas. Hmmmm.

Kristen's Birthday Today

Today is Kristen's 10th birthday. It is hard to believe that it was 10 years ago. In some ways it seems like yesterday but in other's she is such an old soul that it feels like she has always been apart of my life.

When I was growing up, my parents woke me up on my birthday by singing Happy Birthday to me and coming into my bedroom loaded with my presents. What an amazingly happy memory that I have.

This morning Andre and I woke up and went into Kristen's room singing Happy Birthday. She bounded out of bed and hugged us both. She was so happy to wake up like that, the same as I did. But she had to wait until after school for her presents otherwise we would never have gotten her to school today at all.

We bought a cake for her to take to school. Her teacher asked Kristen when she wanted to have the cake - either before class or after. She of course chose before which meant that she and the rest of her class was eating chocolate cake at 8am. Can you imagine?

All day long the teachers gave her candy and chocolate as a gift. The Spanish teacher had the class sing Happy Birthday in Spanish to her and then each child came and gave her a hug for her birthday. What an amazing tradition!!

Tonight we took her to Ajijic Tango for dinner at her request. They make Argentinian steak in a wood burning oven which is to die for. We had an appetizer of grilled Provolone with grilled red pepper and tomato. Then had steak with grilled veggies topped with melted Parmesan cheese.

Then we played pass the desert. I ordered cheese crepes with strawberries, Kristen ordered chocolate mousse and Andre ordered Strawberry ice cream with Raspberry sauce. Nobody finished what they ordered. I love that.

We had wine, beer, coffees and all that I just shared for all three of us for $617 pesos - with the peso now we are looking at over $50 CDN for our amazing dinner. Eating here in Mexico is just so indulgent it is wonderful.

Happy Birthday Baby!! We love you.

Fighting today

Have you ever had such high expectations of what you dream about will happen but the other person just doesn't read your mind adequately - or not at all?

Thats what we just went through. Both Andre and I had ideas and dreams of our reunion and how it was going to be ideal for us but we didn't meet each others expectations very well. So on Day 3 of our time together we were fighting.

I think we have become accustomed to being apart and just having conversations like friends on the phone. We both had a hard time sleeping together because after 4 months of being apart, you just don't adapt quickly.

We finally after much "discussion" (code for fighting) realized how we both wanted so much but it just wasn't realistic.

Marriage is hard enough when you are living together and doing things together but a marriage by vacation is next to impossible. I have no idea how military marriages do it.

After much discussion and unless things change drastically, it looks like we will be living apart for almost a year. AHHHHHHH!!

Canadian Thanksgiving in Mexico

Yesterday was our Canadian Thanksgiving and we celebrated in style. I did not want to spend one whole day of my week with Andre cooking a Thanksgiving dinner that I guaranteed we would have spent the rest of the week eating leftovers because I don't cook small. So we went looking for a place to have dinner.

I had originally thought that we would eat at La Neuva Posada by the lake which is put on by the Canadian club and was $215 pesos each person but when I went to buy tickets they were sold out.

Plan B was I found a second restaurant called Manix in the Ajijic village on Ocampo and they were having a Canadian Thanksgiving dinner for $130 pesos each. I was thrilled to have not gotten tickets at La Neuva Posada.

We had us included Andre, Kristen and my grandmother and me and then we invited our neighbours and friends T and Ed and then I invited Rafael who is Kristen's tutor. He is such a wonderful man and he was a great addition to our table.

We had a choice of Carrot soup or Salad for starters, then our dinner had Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, broccoli and gravy. They served us bread and butter as well and Mexican butter is so sweet and amazing. I could have had so much more.

Half of us had wine with our dinner and when we ordered a second glass they came and brought the wine to to the table and poured just like you would do at home. The restaurant also looked so homey so it was a perfect spot for our Thanksgiving.

Desert was a choice of Pumpkin or Pecan pie. Both werre amazing but I ordered the Pumpkin which after asking if it came with a lot of whipped cream, mine was piled high. Hilarious.

All in all our dinner for 7 with drinks and coffees came to $1,125 pesos which I thought was a total bargain.

Happy Thanksgiving.

La Tasca Restuarant

Yesterday afternoon Andre arrived. After we picked him up at the airport and did the big kissy kissy and came home safe and sound, we adjusted to being together. Andre looked at the garden and all the changes that my grandmother did and we sat and talked a bit and kissed alot more.

We decided to go to La Tasca for dinner. I knew that they had this awesome band playing there and it is right on the lake front. Actually it really is right on the lakefront now as the lake has obliviated their parking lot totally and the lake laps at the restaurant walls.

We had a lovely dinner right by the window and the band stage. I had shrimp wrapped in bacon - it was so unique and wrapped tight like a ball, Andre tasted his first arracherra and Kristen ordered a dinner that will eventually end up in the garbage. There was nothing wrong with it but it seems that she only likes packaged dried pesto instead of fresh and fresh was what she ordered.

But Kristen did enjoy her Creme Brulee even though her father tried to eat most of it. I had a couple of Amarettos and cofffee instead of desert. My personal heaven. The waiter taught me in Spanish how to say my heaven but I it is gone out of my head.

Andre had a Margaretta to celebrate his cousin Tami's birthday, which happened to be yesterday. She had asked him to have one for her. We toasted her birthday, but I wonder if she felt it.

Right after dinner the band began to play. We timed it perfectly. I love this band they play Latin American music from Equator, Chile, Mexico, Cuba etc. They use wooden flutes and other wooden wind instruments, bongos, guitars and other string instruments. It is beautiful, sensual and fun music and Andre was enraptured.

They play there every Saturday night and if you are here, it is worth it to go and enjoy, but don't take a 10 year old who wants to go home and watch tv instead of enjoying the atmosphere, music and company. Too bad.

My husband is coming!!

Tomorrow afternoon I will be at the airport to pick up my husband for a week's visit. We have not seen each other since June 17th, almost 4 months.

Three years ago I came here to visit with my parents and grandmother for 3 weeks. When I returned home we had a reunion in the roundabout in the Toronto airport that rivaled a movie directed shot. There was jumping in the air, passionate kisses, tears and so much emotion.

At that time we both said we would NEVER be apart that long again.

I have learned to never say never as you never know what life will bring you.

But tomorrow life is bringing me my husband, if only for a short week. I am afraid that I will cry alot thinking of his leaving instead of relishing each and every moment. I will try to find a balance.

Sometimes we make decisions based on the moment and for the right reasons but after we wonder if we would have made those decisions differently given different circumstances. Now that the grief of losing both my parents and the fear of my grandmother being alone is over I can see other options that I could have chosen.

But I also wasn't planning on a recession hitting the world, the layoffs in my home town, the growth of the nuclear plant near us to be moved elsewhere. All of these issues seriously affected our plans and made for such a long time away from each other.

I look forward to the day that we are living as a family and bickering over the toilet seat up or down or who is stealing the covers. Those annoyances are sorely missed when they are gone as they are idiosyncrasies of a loved one.

Only 30 more hours until we are together.

Cops in Ajijic Mexico

Today I went to the insurance agent with my little piece of paper that the previous insurance agent gave. I was told that this little piece of paper would allow the insurance on both sides to argue it out, without the driver or me involved. So off I went.

I was I admit a bit distracted while I was driving because of a potential offer on our house that may be coming through and I was driving without my seatbelt. As I was turning left off the carreterra onto the libremento to get to the insurance agent, a cop from the opposite direction honked at me. I thought he saw my seatbelt off and I immediately put it on while looking in my rear view mirror to see if he had turned around. He hadn't so I kept going on my way taking it as a friendly reminder.

I pulled into the insurance office and guess who pulled in behind me? He wished me a buenos dias and told me that I was not allowed to turn left at that corner without the green arrow. I apologized and said that I had thought it was an advance and I could turn when safe.

I provided my licence, my ownership in my fathers name (which a lawyer said I was able to drive because I was immediate family) and my insurance. He asked for my dad's import papers which I have no idea where it is, some things I just can't find and that is one of them. He told me he was taking the car from me and once I had this paper, then I could pay the fines and get the car back.

At this point, all that I have gone through and all the stress came pouring out. I began hysterically crying and hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe and was making a scene but I couldn't control myself. How on earth would I survive here with a child and an elderly person with no car?

It turned out that a little grease was all he needed to go away and I greased alot. I would have in that moment emptied my purse for him just to make the situation go away.

It turns out that he was not allowed to do that and I could report him to his boss but I am not sure if that will keep him away from me or if it will make him harass me. Driving a big red Lincoln is not a car that remains under the radar, anywhere.

What a couple of days. Days like this you wonder what you are doing and just want to run home and hide under the sheets. Or run to your mom and have her give you a big hug. But none of that is possible for me, so I will just go to sleep and try to get my strength back.

My first accident in Ajijic

I never had an accident in Canada or I never had an accident claim in Canada. The only accident I ever had there was with black ice on the QEW in the fall but only a damaged tire happened.

Today, I was on my way to the tianguis in Ajijic or should I say I was on my way to the grocery store when I saw my neighbour, Ed who was on his way to there and I decided to join him. We strolled through the vendors and I bought some fruit for my grandmother and veggies for dinner tonight (Theresa my mothers closest friend from here arrived today and I was making her dinner) and flowers.

I bought 3 big bunches of flowers at the tianguis, one for my grandmother, one for me and one for T to make her arrival a little nicer.

I truly enjoyed my time with Ed and then I finished my shopping and running of errands and I was on my home to prepare for dinner, Yeah!! I was turning left onto the road to my house off of the carreterra and following behind a construction truck carrying rebar. The cop was there to direct traffic as the tianguis is a big traffic issue and he had stopped traffic and waved us through. The construction truck was going left and I was going straight. All was good.

But as I was right behind him, the truck seemed stuck and started reversing. I was immediately behind him and no where to go. I am driving a VERY large Lincoln Town Car and I would think I was impossible to miss, but I guess if you just start reversing and not look, which I am sure we have all done before at least once, anything is not seen.

So here I am stuck and I see he is reversing but think to myself, surely he will stop in time, or I can get past him in time, but neither happened. He reversed right into me, with rebar coming at my face because my window was thankfully open and I just stared in shock. I truly think that if he hadn't stopped, that I would have ducked in my seat and not let the rebar actually hit me but at the moment I seemed frozen staring at what was happening.

The cop came running and asked if I was ok, I was and I said so. He asked if I wanted to press charges and I said no. I had heard so many horror stories of gringos with out of country plates being guilty just because they were out of country visitors and the car was still in my fathers name so I just said I wanted us to resolve it between us.

The driver immediately called his boss and asked what to do and his boss said call the insurance. The driver and I had worked out a solution that would not involve the insurance but it was decided that insurance was the way to go for other driver.

So I waited over 2 hours on the corner for the insurance adjuster. Everyone was very kind and helpful even though I was appalled that the company was going to charge the employee with the deductible.

The kissing cop (as he is nicknamed) kept hugging me and asking if I was ok.

It was a long long day and I was really shaken up but all in all I was quite happy with how it was all handled.

Fall in Ajijic

It is times like these that I truly feel like a Canadian and an outsider to Mexico. Today I went to pick up Kristen in school at 2:30 in the afternoon and then went to get some groceries.

I had been working at my desk all day so I was wearing my comfort clothes; shorts, tank top and Birkenstock' s but when I arrived at the school everyone was wearing designer jeans, long sleeve shirts, socks and shoes and one person was wearing a furry vest.

I have my hair up in a ponytail, not because I am fashionable but because I am hot. I really should cut it short again. Everyone there had styled hair and looked absolutely gorgeous. There were designer purses and very cute and sassy looking mothers. Even the teachers looked fashionable and neat and here I feel like a sopping mess.

I asked someone how long it took to be acclimatize and they said about a year. Now mind you even in Canada and in a snow storm I could be found with my coat wide open and wearing running shoes. And my father was constantly wearing a jean jacket and clogs in the winter in Canada.

So maybe I won't acclimatize. Maybe I will always be hot and have to wear as little as possible. It is times like this that I wish I had a killer body because if I did, I swear I would live in a nudist colony where I didn't have to be bothered with clothes at all.

But alas, I don't have one, so here I remain, clothed and hot.

Hummingbird Building a Nest

Some days you have a miracle happening right in front of your face and I am definitely having one of those lately.

My desk sits in the front of the house and there are no flowers at all in the front of the house, just trees. I did that on purpose so that the front of the house was clean and neat but simple and low maintenance. I was sure that the only hummingbirds that I would see would be in the backyard where it is full of flowers for them to feed on. They are definitely in the back feeding but I think the true show is here in the front.

On the lowest edge of one branch of a tree, a hummingbird is building a nest. Immediately outside my window, right in front of my face.

I have watched the hummingbird carry pieces of leaves in her beak, where it seems to heavy for her to carry and then watch her drop it and have to retrieve it.

The nest is getting bigger and bigger but I don't understand how it can possibly hold eggs and babies when it is on the end of the branch, the weakest point. But I will continue to watch in utter fascination.

The hummingbird spends so much time hovering outside my window looking in at me. I don't know why it does it or if it can see me but it allows me a perfect view to watch.

I have tried to capture it in the tree but every time I pick up my camera, it leaves. The hummingbird can be perched on the limb not flitting it's wings for some time but as soon as I pick up a camera it seems to sense it and leaves. So I can't share with you this awesome scene.

Mother nature is fascinating and wonderous even for some one like me who never had an interest in bird watching before.

CoCo The Cat

My parents had a Burmese cat named Coco. He seemed to be there substitute child and they loved him. After Kristen was born, I became horribly allergic to him and most other cats. So I was never endeared to him.

But now that I am living here in my parents house, I have inherited their cat as well. When my parents died he would have nothing to do with me. He only allowed Kristen to pick him up and drag him around. She treated him like a kitten and carried him everywhere. She slept with him and played him and all was well.

Lately it seemed that Coco only wanted to be cuddled with me and when I say cuddled, I mean he was all over me all the time. I allowed it while I was wearing pants or had a blanket on but loved to be on my bare skin and I could only tolerate that for so long before I broke out itchiness.

For the last couple of days he has a had a weird cry even for him. Last night was the final straw, he paced the halls, crying all night. It was a rough night for all.

So this morning, we got out the cat crate and lined with a towel and plunked him in it. He was fine in the crate until we got in the car to go to the vets and the car began to move. He has not been in a car since I have no idea how long.

The vet at the animal shelter was wonderful. He immediately knew that Coco was constipated and required an enema and he wanted to do blood tests. It appeared on the tests that his kidneys were failing and that was the cause of his constipation. So my fathers cat seems to be failing from my fathers symptoms.

We have changed his food and are going to monitor him but he is not long for this world. I wonder just how much death this house and family can endure.

Kristen is having a hard time with it because it seems to be all rolled together all she has lost and all the pain that we have had. I wish I knew how to prepare for her more to come adequately but I am doing the best I can now. I guess that's all we can hope for. We all have loss and stress, I just wish it wasn't all in one year.

Parent Teacher Meeting at the School

Today I had an appointment for a parent teacher meeting at Kristen's school. When they called to make the appointment I was told that they were concerned about Kristen. Other than that I knew nothing.

So I showed up this morning and was escorted into a conference room with the English teacher, the Spanish teacher, the team co-coordinator and the student coordinator. That is a lot of people to support each student. At first it was overwhelming but then I began to understand the role that each played for the total growth of the student. Pretty amazing. We certainly didn't have that in Canada.

The reason I was called in was because Kristen was not integrating well and that was translating to her attitude and quality of work. She was feeling overwhelmed and when she didnt understand she just shut down and didn't bother to try.

I started to cry in the middle of the meeting, in front of these 4 women and it was embarassing but all I felt was guilt over putting her in this situation that she felt unable to ask anyone for help.

I asked that Kristen be brought into the conference and I could see the relief on her face that she had all this support to help her through it. She is determined to use all the help available. I am so proud of her. Her teachers said the same as well as how intelligent she is. Wonder where she gets it from?

So now she will have after school spanish lessons, a tutor at home 5 days a week and in class tutoring on her subjects and the language as well. With all this support I know she is in the right place and I am happy that we are here. What an amazing experience for her.

Spanish Lessons at Lake Chapala Society

Today was my first Spanish lesson at the Lake Chapala Society. I knew something was wrong when I signed up and when I arrived it was confirmed.

When I signed up at the office I was told that the Level 1 class started in October and it was 100 pesos. When I read about the classes beginning in the local Ojo del Lago magazine, it had stated that the classes were September to December and 500 pesos. I guess I shouldn't have thought I was getting a deal when I paid but I did question the starting date.

So now I am only in a 4 class introductory class and after this month I will have to wait until January to really start learning Spanish. I did enjoy it and I have to say it is starting to make sense and I am starting to hear things and understand. But I really didnt want a class that was broken up. I was looking for some continuity.

I have an introductory class on learning only 138 words. I think I will really begin to use that program as well. I find that it is truly important for me to learn, not only for myself and general getting around because you can get by here without spanish - not great but get by.

I find its important for Kristen as well. She has a strong personality (wonder where she gets it from - I am saying my Mom) and has convinced every friend to only speak English to her. That is great for their learning but not so great for Kristen's. I h ave a parent teacher meeting tomorrow with the school and they said they are concerned about her. The only thing that comes to mind is Spanish.

I have her enrolled in after school lessons and a daily tutor so other than me learning Spanish and speaking it at home, I don't know what else to do. So here I come.

I also watched this PBS show about how to save your brain. One of the main things that you need to do besides limiting alcohol and drugs (not really an issue with me) is to learn. Learn a new language, a new skill, whatever you choose but continually learn new. The doctor said it was the greatest way to ward off Alzeheimers and seeing as my grandmother died of it, I really truly want to avoid it.

So Spanish here I come. Then conversational French and Italian. I will truly ward off Alzheimers at this rate.

Butcher in San Juan Cosola Mexico

When my parents came up to Canada for my paternal grandmother's funeral three years ago, my mother was determined to eat and enjoy everything that she was unable to eat here in Mexico. We had Prime Rib roast beef with yorkshire pudding (my speciality) veggies and horseradish three times in a week and half. We had lobster only once. That should show you how much a good roast beef meant to my mother.

Growing up we had the traditional Sunday night dinner. It was always a roast of some kind. Usually prime rib or pork with crispy rind or whole roasted chicken was the item served. It was comfort food and at the time sometimes felt boring. Imagine being able to say and truly mean it - "Oh No not Prime Rib roast beef and yorkshire pudding again"

I believed my mother's opinion of what life was like in Mexico and I have not gone out of my way to prove her wrong or that things are changing here. I mentioned in a previous post that my mother felt that the schooling here was not up to par and that has been proven incorrect.

Looks like I may have just stumbled upon another thing that has progressed here in Mexico. Friends of my parents, who I am happy to say have become my friends, Rosemary and Bob, sent us an email about a great butcher shop in San Juan Cosola. I dropped in today and asked about the products there. Bob assured me that you could not only get an amazing aged Prime Rib and a pork roast with the rind, but anything else you may want as well.

He took me over there because I don't know the area and introduced me to the butcher (or his brother - not sure). I bought a couple of thick tenderloin steaks, 2 kilo's of split pork ribs and 3 thick pork chops for 120 pesos. I will let you know how they turned out but if they taste as good as they look we will be making the drive again.

Oh and for those who read my post regularily, I mentioned my bra issue to Rosemary and she helped me out. YEAH!! Thank you. I love handmedowns. They always thrill me.

What Aama Ate today

I know I shouldn't post this but I just can't help myself. My grandmother is 94 years old and in relatively good health. She has minor things wrong like her hearing and she requires a walker for her balance. But other than that, healthy.

The doctors tell us to eat 5-8 servings of fruit and veggies a day. A DAY, to remain healthy and live a long life. We need water to remain hydrated and make our organs work properly. Right?

Well I just went to see my grandmother and she was eating pasta (plain) and rice (white boiled) with fried bacon. That is her main meal of the day. When I teased her about it, she said she had a piece of celery with cheez whiz on it and she can't eat vegetables every day. That translates to she can't eat 1 serving of veggies a day. She may get into her system 3 -5 servings a week.

So how is it possible that she is 94 and relatively healthy? She defies all the rules.

So if I come from her, and her genes are in my gene pool, why do I gain weight if I look at food? And then get sick if I eat the wrong things? Why can't I eat pasta and chocolate as my diet?

If only life were fair. Sigh!!

Perfect Blue Skies are Back

When I was here in February and March, my Dad and I talked about the weather here. He said other than the rainy season, a cloud in the sky - just one cloud - constituted overcast skies here. I laughed and thought he was funny.

I have now lived through my first rainy season here and generally there wasn't alot of time raining, although we did receive over the average in rainfall this season. But what I really noticed was that the sky was full of clouds always - or almost always. Even if there was only a few clouds, the sky never seemed clear and bright and blue.

Well today as I sit at my computer, looking out my window, I see the green mountains, the sway of the coconut palm tree in my front yard and the clearest bluest sky. Not a cloud in sight. It is so crisp and beautiful.

I have been told that the rainy season ends in September and seeing as today is the last day of September, it just might be over. My only hope is that the mountains wont' turn brown and dry before Andre gets to see them when he comes on the 11th.

When he was last here, the mountains were sparce and brown and baren. Today they are green and lush with some trees blooming yellow flowers as dots on the horizon. You add in the clear blue sky and it is awe inspiring to say the least.

Wish you were here to see it with me.

Walmart in Ajijic

2 months tomorrow Walmart will be opening at the corner of the carreterra and the road to Guadalajara, can't remember what it's called at the moment. Walmart will be on the lake side of that corner and on the opposite corner is a strip mall for 50 stores and supposedly Burger King too.

But this is not going to be any ordinary Walmart - it's a SuperStore with food and everything a person could ever want. Yeah!!

It is a shame that Walmart is blocking the lake view and there is so much contraversy around them coming here but I personally can not wait.

Kristen needs black shoes for school and I can't find any to fit her. Walmart would have it.

I need new sheets but Soriana only has 180 thread count and I won't go back to that quality ever again but Walmart would have them.

Andre is coming for a week on the 11th and he wants Corona - Walmart has it cheap - 24 beer for 170 pesos - $17 bucks.

I want to make a chicken curry but can't find coconut milk - I think Walmart would have it.

I need new clothes but don't want to buy the fancy stuff for every day and that is all I can find but Walmart would have clothes. I desperately need a new bra. I truly can't wait for Walmart. When Andre is here, I may just drag him to Guadalajara for a new bra from Walmart.

So many things will be so close. I truly can not wait.

Elderly baggers at grocery stores

Yesterday while I was shopping for my ingredients for my wonderful meal, I went to two stores. One was Soriana in Chapala and other Super Lake in San Antonio. Considering that I am coming from the Greater Toronto Area, saying that I am going from town to another, seems so funny considering the actual distance that I am traveling.

Anyway, while I was at Soriana, which is a large grocery store that carries, electronics, clothing, drugs and household products as well - very comparible to Walmart - I noticed something when checking out that made me think I should discuss it here.

I ran my groceries through the cashier and gave her $400 pesos for $342 peso order. She took a $100 peso bill out of her cash and sat it down on the bagging area, indicated for me to wait and she ran the next order through.

I waited the entire time that the following gentleman was completing his sale and finally the cashier gave the $100 note to the next cashier who gave her change. As I was reading this mornings webboard for the area, someone else noted that it was happening all day yesterday. Makes me wonder why there was such a shortage of small bigs in the cash this day. Inquiring minds want to know.

Baggers in the grocery stores here are usually children or the elderly and they are usually given tips. You see their pile of coins in front of them as they bag and it always seems like there is such a small amount considering the time of day. I always wondered if it was part of their marketing paln to only keep a certain amount showing.

What really stood out in my experience for that visit was a Soriana bagger employee with a Coke jumped in front of me in line showing me her pop. I waved her through as she was on a break and said go ahead. She gave the cashier a Soriana plastic grocery bag rolled up to pay for her drink. The cashier had to weed through the coins to figure out which was the correct change for her drink.

My thoughts were:
1. Did she know how to count?
2. If not, that would explain her job as a bagger but then again what a great opportunity for an uneducated woman to get employment enough to purchase a Coke as an extravagance.
3. Just how poor were these baggers who collected our coins and appeared either elderly or uneducated? I wondered what their houses were like and how they lived.

This area is generally very well off for the Mexicans. The ones who have vacation homes from Guadalajara definitely have more disposable income than I do and drive amazing vehicles with all the toys.

But exactly how poor are the poor in this area and what is the percentage. It makes me wonder.

Mexican Chocolate Chip Cookies

I have to admit that I have been horrible cook for just Kristen and I so I finally got tired of waiting until my husband arrived, to make a decent meal.

I wanted not only a decent home cooked meal but also a treat. I thought of cookies and went online searching for a good recipe for chocolate chip. My normal favourite recipe is on the bag of chipits and I didn't think that I would be able to either find that brand here and if I could, it might not be worth the price to buy them.

I found on my favourite recipe site, Epicurious.com a recipe for Mexican chocolate chip cookies. The recipe added cinnamon and pepper to the recipe and I used Mexican chocolate as some reviewers suggested.

I have to say that I just took the first batch out of the oven and of course I just had to eat the one that broke. Well didn't I? Guess what? They are amazing. It definitely has that Mexican zing to them but still sweet and runny.

I find that while I am here in Mexico, I really want to cook like a Mexican but am at a loss on finding traditional recipes. A couple of months ago I was invited to a neighbours house who was making arracherra for dinner so I found a recipe for Mexican corn pudding from a chef in Guadalajara to bring as my contribution. I am happy and proud to say that there was not a drop of it left.

Mexican cooking is so much more than Taco Bell. I am thrilled to be experimenting with it.

Want a cookie?

My grandmother and her garden

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My grandmother asked me to take pictures of her and her garden so that she could send to her nephew and her sister. I got out my camera and went to her casita and told her I was ready to take the pictures that she requested. She insisted that I come later after she had changed and dressed for the occasion.

I went home and waited for her to prepare. What I wasn't prepared for was her posing. Not only would she hide her walker but she would pose like she was a supermodel. How hilarious for a 94 year old woman to pose like that. She still is young at heart.

She told me to stand here and take a picture facing this way. She told me to move there and take this picture. She has this image that she wants the camera to see, but not all shots come out like her eyes see it.

I probably shouldn't admit this because she won't be happy about it but I can't resist. Can you see the pictures and in some she is wearing a blue outfit and in others she is wearing a pink? She wanted it to look like the pictures were taken at different times, so she did a costume change between sets. You can also see in the picture of her reading, that it appears as if I walked into her casita with my camera and couldn't resist taking a picture of her reading. She is such a model and loves to pose.

I took the pictures and then showed them to her on the computer. She couldn't understand how they got from the camera to the computer or how you could reuse the chip. I tried to explain that it was like a plate. You could fill the plate with food and then transfer the food to your stomach. But then the plate could be used again the next day to put more food on it. I think she understood but usually when she just laughs like she did, its her way of saying - Never mind.

She insisted on printing the pictures so she could mail to them to her family because she doesn't understand how they can emailed and viewed. I took my chip to the local drugstore and used the Kodak machine to print out the pictures I wanted. I requested 3 sets of most pictures and 2 of some, so she could mail them and still have a copy of herself. Seems I didn't read her mind well enough and I printed too many. Oh well.

Here are some of the pictures of her and her garden. You can see she has aged but still amazing for being 94 years old.

Lake Chapala Pictures

This post will be mostly pictures of Lake Chapala. My Dad took the before pictures in July 2003 when the lake was really low and the after pictures were taken today.

Unfortunately I don't seem to be able to control where the pictures end up, so they are not in order, but I am sure that you can figure out which are before and which are after pictures.

The picture of the boy was a picture that I couldn't resist sharing. As I was walking along the Ajijic malecon (pier) there was a boy there who had a rope dangling into the lake. When I looked down I saw many fish still alive but stuck to the rope. The boy was kind enough to lift his catch to show me, although he had to really work to hold them up high. Can you see how hard the load is for him to hold on his face?

Do you see the sandbags and the men continuing to fill them. They are trying to encircle where the beach park was, but as you can see, all they seem to be doing is holding the water in. I am sure that they have a plan.

Can you imagine eating a picnic at one of these picnic tables?
I hope you enjoy but if the lake rises too much more, I am not sure what they are going to do.

Lake Chapala and Robertos

I thought I would listen to my own thoughts on my last blog and decided to make this afternoon, family day for Kristen and I. We drove down to the lake and took some pictures of where it is now.

Last April 19th was my wedding anniversary and Andre and I were here for it. We made reservations for La Tasca which had been recommended to us but somehow made the mistake and walked along the beach and ended up at Roberto's on the beach.

We loved the food, the ambiance and the view of the lake as we ate. We loved how we walked along the beach to get to the restaurant.

Well Roberto's has moved and you can see why. Now they are on the carreterra on the west end. We will have to try it one day but the view will never be the same.

Early Dismissal every Friday

I am getting ready to pick up my daughter from school shortly because it is Friday. Every Friday the school lets out an hour early at 1:30pm.

I think its wonderful. They work hard all week going to school from 8am - 2:30pm and my daughter has after school Spanish lessons Tuesday and Thursday until 4pm. Every night they have at least 1 hour of homework, so letting them leave early on Friday I think is a wonderful reward for working hard all week.

Imagine if it worked like that in the adult working life. Imagine working hard and being rewarded EVERY single week. Imagine earning an extra 20% a week for working hard.

What would our world be like if every Friday afternoon was family time around the world? How would our children be different? How would WE be different?

What an amazing concept to imagine and consider. I think I would really like that world.